


Moments

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-13
Updated: 2008-11-13
Packaged: 2019-05-15 04:27:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 40,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14783577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: A series of vingettes before the story goes AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Post - The Portland Trip 

JOSH’S POV 

There’s an annoyingly insistent banging on my apartment door. It’s late. I’m tired. I was at the White House really late tonight with Matt Skinner duking it out over the marriage recognition act. I open the door, and I’m not at all sure I’m surprised to see him standing there. Speak of the Devil and He shall appear. And I’m not being dramatic either. Sometimes I wonder about my friend here... 

Matt pushes past me into my apartment. He takes his coat off and throws it over a chair, and I arch a brow at him. Evidently, he’s not done with our debate. This sometimes happens with us; though usually he drags my ass out to a bar to yell at me in public. He’s not doing that this time. 

“Are you fucking stupid?” he demands of me. 

Oookkaaay. 

“What?” Is my witty reply. 

“She has no future with the guy because ‘you said so’?” he asks, putting his hands on his hips. 

Now I see why he didn’t drag me out in public. He may be a misguided republican, but he’s still my friend first. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Don’t play stupid with me, Josh.” 

“You just asked me if I was, Matt.” 

“What the hell is going on, man?” he demands. He’s now moving to my kitchen and throwing open my fridge. Looks like he’s hanging out for a while. 

Just freaking dandy. Because I REALLY wanted to get into a conversation about Donna, especially since I can’t get the image of her in that freaking red dress out of my head. She knows I like red, too. Sometimes I wonder if she does shit like this just to get to me. 

“What do you mean what’s going on?” I reply dropping into a chair and picking up the beer I was already working on. These are dangerous waters he’s diving on into. He, of all people, knows that it’s a bad idea for members of Congress to discuss Donna with me. But he’s also a very good friend of mine, so he’s going to do it anyway. 

“I’m really not going to fucking pull it out of you.” Matt replied. “Why would you say something like that?” 

“I thought it was because I’m an egomaniac.” 

“What’s going on with you and Donna?” 

And there it is. 

“Nothing.” I say quickly. “You saw. She had a date tonight.” 

“But you want something to be going on?” he asks. 

“I don’t know.” I confess. It sort of feels good to get it off my chest, especially to someone that’s not going to flay me alive for thinking it, like, oh, say a press secretary. “Honestly, I’m not really sure. She really did a lot for me when I was recovering, and maybe it’s just that.” 

“Like some Florence Nightingale thing?” He asks sitting down. 

“I don’t know. I really don’t.” I confess. “I mean, I’m not going to deny that I think she’s beautiful, and we are really close.” 

“Yeah.” Matt hedges. I hate the look he’s giving me right now. 

“And she knows me pretty well.” 

“Yeah.” 

“And I wanted to find out who this freaking lobbyist was and find a way to make him disappear.” 

“Yeah.” 

“And she looked amazing.” 

“Yeah.” 

“This doesn’t bode well for me, huh?” 

“It really doesn’t, man.” He actually laughs. 

“I have a crush on my assistant.” I groan pressing my palms to my eyes. 

“I don’t think it’s a crush, Josh.” he says hesitantly. 

“It has to be.” I insist. I can’t be in love with Donna. I absolutely can’t. That would be disasterous. That would be the end of our world as we know it. It would ruin everything she and I have now. “I can get over a crush.” 

“Josh! You’re an idiot! She wants you!” 

I snap my gaze up to his. 

“Don’t say shit like that.” I snap. 

“I didn’t say anything bad.” 

“You’re insinuating things about her.” Hmm...I’m a little more hot under the collar about this than I expected to be. 

“I’m not insinuating anything, my friend. I’m coming right out and telling you that this thing between you guys is definitely not one-sided.” 

I don’t think I can hear this now. I don’t think I can wrap my mind around this. Especially when my mind is thinking about wrapping myself around Donna in that damn red dress. 

“Why would you think that?” I ask. 

There goes my mouth, betraying me as usual. 

“Because I have eyes and ears in my head.” he replies. “I see how you are together.” 

“Do straight people see how we are together?” Hey! I’m going to give as good as I’m getting here. 

“Don’t be an asshole.” 

“Can’t help it. It’s a medical condition.” 

Well, that certainly made him lose it. When he stops laughing and looks at me, I see an opportunity. I don’t want to take it. Taking it would be admitting that he’s right. 

“Just out of curiosity, what would I be looking at?” 

But. For. That. Mouth... 

“It’ll get ugly.” he says seriously. “Half the town thinks you two are already getting it on and they’re just waiting in the tall grass. Politically, I don’t think anything’s going to happen; but it’ll be a media nightmare. People will say some really, really nasty things about her.” 

“Republicans.” I shrug. 

“Democrats, too, buddy.” he says shaking his head. 

“You know that for sure?” 

He nods. 

“Chris says that?” 

“Nah. Wick thinks you’ve got your head up your ass. It’s mostly senior guys.” 

Shit. 

I can’t do that to her. I can’t let someone go on national television and question her morals, her ethics, her intelligence. It’ll kill her. She’ll pretend that it’s okay because she’ll want to protect me, but it’ll kill her. She gets self-conscious as it is, but this...this is way more than that. 

“Dammit.” I say softly. 

“Josh, the answer is pretty easy.” Matt says. “Transfer her.” 

“I can’t.” I sigh. 

“Why the hell not?” 

“She doesn’t have a degree, it limits what she can do there, though not really at all because she’s smarter than nearly everyone that works there, including me.” 

“But she can work for the Deputy Chief of Staff for the White House?” Matt counters with an amazed laugh. “I feel completely bathed in the competence of my government at this moment.” Well, when he puts it like that... 

“It’s not just that though.” I say. 

“What else is there?” 

“I work 16 hour days. If she’s somewhere else, when the hell am I going to see her? What the hell kind of relationship is that?” 

“You don’t think you’ll MAKE time to see her?” 

“I don’t have a choice.” I reply. “I work for the President of the United States. I don’t punch out at 5 o’clock, or 7 o’clock, or 8 o’clock. It’s a country we’re running over there.” 

“If you say so.” he shrugs. I seriously think I let him drink too much tonight. 

“I’m tired of you tonight.” I say. I am, too. Matt’s one of my best friends, but I was fighting with him earlier about the marriage recognition act, which is what we’re supposed to do, and now he’s here fighting with me about Donna, which he’s absolutely NOT supposed to do, which I suppose is why he’s one of my best friends. 

“You know, you’re one to be arguing for someone’s right to love someone over there.” I shoot back. Take that, Matt. “This is exactly, by the way, what I was talking about before.” 

“I know.” he sighs and leans forward. “But at least I got you to admit that you love her.” 

“I don’t love her.” I say quickly. I fall back on my earlier disaster argument. 

“Then what are we arguing about? Your right to have hot sex with your young, hot, blonde assistant?” He counters. And I really think I hate him. 

“It’s not like that.” 

“Right. Because it’s the other thing.” 

“How come I’m not being ganged up on right now?” 

“They didn’t hear your ridiculously Neanderthal comment earlier.” he says. Maybe I WAS a little bit...possessive. “Plus, they’re scared of you.” 

“Mike’s got a gun. How scared of me can he be?” 

“Talking to you about Donna? They’re scared of you.” 

He has a point. I’m surprised Matt got out of me tonight what he did, quite frankly. I blame that red dress. 

“Josh.” he says. 

“Yeah.” 

“You REALLY should figure it out. You two would be really good together. And I don’t like anybody you date.” 

TBC


	2. Moments

Post - Noel 

DONNA’S POV 

We walk slowly up the stairs to Josh’s apartment and he stops abruptly at his door and turns around to face me. 

“Donna.” he says almost urgently. 

“Yeah?” 

“I didn’t cut my hand on a glass.” he confesses. I was wondering if he’d ever actually tell me. I’m melting inside right now that he trusts me enough to tell me. 

“I know.” I smile what I hope is a comforting one. 

“You do?” 

“Josh, you would have had to slam the glass down and then smush your hand into the glass to do what you did.” I say gently. 

“So you know then?” he sighs and turns to open the door. 

“Well, your landlord called this morning to tell me that they were coming in to fix the window.” I say as I follow him into the living room. “So, I added that with your hand, and my superior sleuth skills enabled me to figure out what happened.” He flops down, coat and all onto the couch, drops his head back and closes his eyes, while I see the new window out of the corner of my eye. 

I can’t believe he did something like that. I can’t believe he was in so much pain inside that his mind told him that physical pain would make it go away. I take my coat off and sit down on the couch next to him. 

“You’re staying?” he asks raising his eyebrows and opening his eyes. 

“Yeah. Is that okay?” Like he has a choice. 

He nods and finally works his way out of his coat, tossing it off the couch to the chair where mine is. 

“I’m crazy.” he sighs. 

“You are not.” 

“Stanley said I was.” 

“He used those words?” 

“No, he used worse ones.” 

“Which were?” 

“That I have post-traumatic stress disorder.” 

He’s looking at me closely now. He’s trying to see if he can watch my opinion change of him. It has. I think he’s stronger than I originally thought. 

“That doesn’t mean you’re crazy.” I say. “It means you went through a traumatic experience.” 

“I still have nightmares.” 

“So do I, and I wasn’t even there.” 

“Thank God for that.” he whispers. 

“Not from this seat.” I reply. Shit! There’s that elephant creeping up to the surface. Must.Tamp.It.Down. 

“You don’t think the deputy chief of staff having a mental disorder is going to freak people out?” he asks. 

“Probably.” I shrug. “If they knew.” 

“Why wouldn’t they know?” 

“Why should they know?” I shoot back. He doesn’t think I’m going to cover for him? Did he hit is head, too? 

“I spent the entire day with a trauma team, Donna.” He reminded. 

“You were shot!” I reply. “They all did after the shooting, too. Before you came back, Leo brought ATVA in, and they all got to talk to them if they wanted. Leo should have sent them over here when they were done there.” 

I know I’m being irrational, but I need to blame someone. The people who did this to him are dead, and they can keep hurting him, and that scares me. 

“Donna...” he sighs. 

“The President, Leo, me, and you. That’s who knows, Josh.” I say softening my tone. “Your mother doesn’t even know unless you tell her. I’M certainly not telling anyone.” 

“I’m a close advisor of the President.” 

“You’re not an elected official.” 

“I’ve been reliving the shooting over and over in my head for weeks.” he says. “Every time I hear music, I hear sirens and I’m right back there.” 

“I know.” I say, and my voice cracks. My hand flies up to cover my mouth and I try to will the tears back. He looks over at me as he hears my voice change and I damn myself. I’m supposed to be strong for him. 

“It happened the other night at the Congressional Christmas party.” he says. 

“I know.” I say again, and the tears are coming out anyway. “I saw you. You were all the way on the other side of the room, and I was afraid if I got up and went to you, people would notice, so I just sat there. I sat there and watched you, and I realized I was watching you get shot, and I was right back there that night in the hospital and I couldn’t help you. I couldn’t help you the night it happened, and I couldn’t help you the other night.” 

I stop talking and my words hang in the air. He looks...well, he looks freaked out is how he looks. 

“Are you all right?” He asks me and I have to laugh. He spent eight hours with a trauma team, three hours in an emergency room, and got diagnosed with a mental disorder today, and he’s asking ME if I’m all right? There are moments when he is, quite simply, the sweetest person I know, and people rarely see it. I’m sure it’s better that way, at least for him professionally. But I realize that nobody knows him like I do. I really am tuned to him. I was snarking him when I said that, but I really am, and he knows it now. 

I nod to him and wipe the tears away. “Josh?” 

“Yeah?” he says quickly. 

“Um...” I say with a sniffle. 

“What?” 

“Well, I really just want to hug you right now.” I say quickly. There. There it is. I do. 

He smiles slowly, and for just a second, I think that he’s going to make a wise-ass comment. “Good.” he says instead. “Because I could really use one.” 

I hurl myself at him and his arms come tightly around me. These moments are few and far between with us. He and I walk a fine line with each other, always on our toes, waiting to see who’s going to crack first. Tonight it was me. Tonight I think I let him see how much I care about him. When we go back to work after Christmas, we’ll be back to denying that this connection exists, because it’s probably for the best right now. But for this moment, we’re going to be the comfort to each other that we always are. 

TBC


	3. Moments

Post 17 People 

JOSH’S POV 

“If you were in an accident, I wouldn’t stop for red lights...” 

She did it again. She dropped a bomb on me and walked away. She left me standing there gaping like a fish and ran away before I could respond. It’s just as well because when she walked by me, it took a lot of restraint not to grab her and kiss her. I had the sudden urge to slam my office door shut and push her up against it. 

I have to stop this. I have to stop thinking about her like this. Never mind it’s TOTALLY unprofessional, but it’s frequently a distraction. I’m going to be up all night now because of that. 

She’s never told me Dr. Free Ride’s last name. She does that so I won’t sic the IRS on him. She knows me too well. And, of course, Sam had to go there tonight. Of course he had to bring it up. I mean, it was dangling out there specifically being unspoken about tonight, but Sam, because he’s Sam went there. I laugh to myself though when I think about how Donna got him back. 

But when I think of what that guy did to her... 

She dropped out of school for him. She worked as a masseuse, and I can’t say that I’m all that broken up about that part because I’ve gotten massages from her when I was recovering. She’s really good. I mean, really good. 

But Donna’s a gift. She is. She’s the most priceless thing in my life, and I remember how happy I was three years ago today when she walked back into my life. Well, when she hobbled back into my life. I couldn’t believe it. I mean, that kind of stuff just doesn’t happen to me. People leave, they don’t come back. 

But Donna came back. And that’s the day, I think, that she surpassed invaluable and became vital to me. I don’t show her enough how much I appreciate her. I certainly don’t tell her enough. But every single year, on this day, she’ll know. 

I don’t send her flowers in April to be snarky. I can do that without spending well over 100 bucks on a floral bouquet. It’s just the opposite actually. 

You know what? I should tell her. She said something to me tonight that was, let’s just say, dangerous for us. She shouldn’t be left out there alone. I’d never leave her alone. 

I go back to the Roosevelt Room and poke my head through the door. She looks at me curiously as I wave her out. I bring her back down to my office and close the door, reminding myself that I didn’t bring her back here to kiss her, though I really, really want to because I really think that’s the only way I can clearly convey just how much what she said means to me. 

“I don’t send you flowers in April to be snarky.” I say after a long moment of looking at each other. 

“It’s okay, Josh.” she says before turning to leave. 

“It’s not.” I insist and she stops and looks at me. “I don’t want you to think that. I know what day you actually started working for me, but...” I trail off and look at her. God! How am I going to say this? I take a deep breath and look at the floor while I speak. “I’ve lost a lot of people in my life, Donna. None of them have ever come back; most of them CAN’T come back. You came back. That’s something I celebrate.” 

At that moment, of course, I make the mistake of looking up at her, and of course, she’s crying. I hate it when she cries. I hate it when it’s me that made her cry. I know they’re happy tears, but still... 

“So anyway,” I say clearing my throat. “I’m glad you came back.” And maybe one day I can tell her just how glad. 

“Me too.” she whispers. 

“We should get back in there.” I say. I don’t want to though. I want to hug her. But if I hug her, I’m pretty sure I’ll kiss her and then we’d be in some serious trouble. Something’s cooking, and I don’t know what it is, but it’s had Toby in the Oval all night and it’s been giving me an uneasy feeling. Kissing Donna now would be very bad...well...from that standpoint. I have a feeling it would be very good. 

TBC


	4. Moments

Post War Crimes 

JOSH’S POV 

We’re back at her apartment now, sitting on her couch nursing beers. It took Cliff two hours to read her diary. When he returned it, I had to convince her NOT to throw it into the Potomac. I told her to keep it, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to disappear. And unfortunately, I think I know why. 

I couldn’t read it. I probably should have, but I just couldn’t do that to her. She said there’s nothing about the MS in there, so that’s all I needed to know. But given her absolute reluctance to turn it over to Congress, I’m pretty sure that Cliff just read an awful lot about me that I could have lived without him knowing. He certainly looked at me different when he came back. 

That’s why I came up with the plan I did, quite frankly. How could she risk prison so no one would find out about the PTSD? How could she possibly think I’d allow that? This is what makes her more than my assistant. This is not what an assistant does. An assistant doesn’t throw themselves in front of a train for their boss. They just don’t. But Donna did that for me, therefore, it’s up to me to derail the train coming for her. 

But now we’ve got this hanging in between us. This is why we’re so dangerous. Dangerous for each other and dangerous for the administration. If Cliff goes back on his word, there goes re-election, and it would be my fault. I mean, we may still lose. This is going to be hard to come back from, but if it’s revealed that Donna lied about having a diary, that’s the kind of pubic perception you can’t get back. Even Mandy wouldn’t be able to fix that. 

“Do you hate me, Josh?” she whispers. 

“How can you possibly think that?” I demand immediately. Hate her? Hate Donna? If I wasn’t in love with her before, I’ve fallen completely in love with her now. I’m mad that she did something this stupid, but I can’t NOT love her for it. 

“You were really mad.” 

“I am very mad.” 

“Because it’s Cliff?” 

Okay, well there is that, too. I’ve been trying to avoid that particular issue. 

“Because you put yourself in danger for me.” I reply sidestepping that sticky issue and sticking to the other sticky issue. “Lying to Congress to protect my career is not part of your job.” 

“You’re right, it’s not.” she says, and there’s definitely a defiant tone to her voice now and I’m left wondering just who’s mad at who. 

“You’re pissed at ME?” I ask incredulously. Well, this I got to hear. 

“You shouldn’t have cut a deal.” 

“I shouldn’t have - are you serious?” I demand. I shouldn’t have cut a deal? 

“You’re going to do great things, Josh. You can’t do them from prison.” 

“I can’t do them without you either.” I shoot back and she looks a little taken aback by that. 

Good. 

I hope she sees now that her plan was flawed. 

“What the hell does that mean?” she snaps. Well, I did bring this on myself. 

“It means exactly what I just said. I can’t do it without you.” 

“You can get another assistant.” 

“Why are we even having this conversation?” 

“Everyone’s replaceable.” 

“NO. YOU’RE. NOT!” 

Okay, well now she really looks taken aback. She’s not alone there. I can’t believe that just came out of me. The tension in the air is magnified a hundred times from what it was when we first got here. 

I don’t know who moved first, but the next thing I know, we’re kissing. I think there’s sparks in the air, and I try to stop and pull away, but – God! She just flicked her tongue across my bottom lip and who am I to deny her that? We deepen the kiss together, and I’m vaguely aware that she’s straddling me now, which is a dangerous place for her to be because by now, she’s surely discovered how very much I want her. My hands go from her waist to her silky hair where I force them to stay there. They absolutely cannot go to her back because if they do, they’ll take her shirt off, and go right to her breasts, and.... 

Crap! That’s me moaning. 

She’s rocking back and forth. I swear to God, I’m going to explode. My traitorous lips are now on her neck where they’ve wanted to be for years now, and now it’s her that’s moaning, and I can feel that moan against my lips and it’s... 

Really hot. 

I turn my head slightly and it gives her the perfect vantage point to suck my earlobe into her mouth. 

That’s me moaning again. 

I lean back into the couch and she comes with me, and it’s that movement that finally makes us stop. She’s got her hands on my chest now and we’re staring at each other, breathing heavily. 

I smile at her. “What was that?” 

“I think I may have been thanking you.” she smiles back, and we laugh, the tension breaking. Thank God we’re laughing instead of freaking out. 

“That can’t happen again, Donna.” I say reluctantly, but I didn’t have to because she knows. 

“Yeah.” she agrees. But she takes my face between her hands and kisses me softly anyway. It’s different than the raw hunger that was just between us. That kiss showed how much we wanted each other; this kiss I think is showing how we feel about each other. It’s tender, it’s sweet, and it’s the best kiss I’ve ever had in my life. 

I pull away and see the tears pooling in her eyes. There I go, making her cry again. Each tear she’s shedding breaks my heart more. 

“Joshua.” she whispers. 

“Shh.” I silence her quickly with a finger to her lips. She can’t speak now; she just can’t. But she can’t be alone out there either. 

“Me too, Donnatella. Me too.” 

TBC


	5. Moments

Post-Dead Irish Poets 

JOSH’S POV 

I can hear Donna moving around out by her desk. Any minute now, she’s going to discover I didn’t go home yet. More to the point, I didn’t go home with Amy. 

“Josh?” 

It never takes her long. 

“Yeah.” 

She saunters in swaying a little bit and sits down on the end of my desk. I’m lounged back in my chair looking at her. She looked really beautiful tonight. I should tell her. 

“You look really beautiful tonight.” I say. 

“Thanks.” she smiles. Then does something totally out of the ordinary for her and flops back onto my desk. She cringes a bit when her head hits the inbox, but it doesn’t dissuade her from her mission of laying down. 

“Even though you’re all drunken girly now from your bender with the First Lady.” I snark. ANYTHING to get my mind off the fact that Donnatella Moss is draped across my desk. Oh, the fantasies I’ve had about THIS. 

“I was just trying to form political ties for my Mother Country. I’d make a good go between.” she replies and I laugh. Only Donna could wake up one morning and go to work at the White House and find out she’s actually Canadian. That’s one of the things I love about her, the quirky stuff that happens to her. 

She turns her head and looks at me smiling. “I can’t BELIEVE I’m Canadian. I mean, you think you know yourself...” 

I think she’s trying to cheer me up. I think she saw what was going on with Amy. 

“Why are you here?” she finally asks. And I shrug. I feel weird talking about Amy with her. “Josh?” she prods. 

“Yeah.” 

“Do you and Amy fight a lot?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Why?” 

“She likes it.” 

“Do you like it?” 

“No.” 

“Do you like her?” 

“I’m dating her.” 

“But do you like her?” 

“I like her enough.” 

“Because sometimes I think you guys don’t like each other much.” she says. Donna tends to get pretty philosophical when she’s drunk. I also happen to agree with her at the moment. “That makes me sad.” 

“It makes you sad?” 

“You should be with someone you like, and someone that likes you.” she says softly. 

This is one of those moments. One of those moments when this thing between us gets close to the surface. I know she’s hurt by me dating Amy. And I think it was pretty obvious that I was hurt by her dating Cliff. But we can’t date each other, and quite frankly, not dating anybody would only feed the rumors. So I date Amy, and she goes out with....gomers. 

“She likes me enough.” I grin. 

“She’s not the one.” 

“No, she’s not.” And I’m glad that she turned her face away when she said that to me because Donna can see right through me. She’s spent years learning all my mannerisms and idiosyncrasies and she sees that nanosecond of a reaction before I can hide something. Everyone else misses it, but not Donna. It’s sick how well she’s tuned to me. 

“I hope I represented my country well tonight.” she says bouncing her legs that are dangling off the end of the desk. This is so inappropriate for the White House right now, it’s ridiculous. But I can’t stop smiling at her, so screw it. And come to think about, she’s the only one I smiled at tonight. 

“You did.” I smile, glad to be off the subject of Amy. “Getting the First Lady of the United States drunk might be considered an attempted coup though.” 

“She got me drunk.” Donna insists. She’s probably right. The First Lady seemed upset about something tonight. “Did your ceiling ALWAYS spin like that or is that new?” 

“Okay.” I say finally standing up. “Why don’t I take you home?” 

“Take me home? You’re with Amy.” 

So much for hovering below the surface. “Yes, I am. You’re drunk.” 

“You’re going to take advantage of me when I’m drunk?” 

“If you weren’t drunk, I’d be pissed off at that comment.” 

“You would never do something like that.” she scoffs dramatically with a dismissive wave of her hand. 

I grab her drunken waving hand and pull her to a sitting position. She immediately falls forward into me to steady herself. Well, this is...nice. Except it made me involuntarily wince at a quick pain in my right side. 

“You’re side still hurts?” she asks concerned. She’s rather brazenly put her hand over the healed bullet wound, and I think the heat from her touch burns more than the actual bullet did. 

I nod in confirmation to her. How is it that Donna knows that, but the woman I’m sleeping with doesn’t? Because Donna’s paid to know that, I quickly remind myself. Except she’s not. She knows that because she wants to know that stuff, and I want her to know that stuff. 

“I could give you a massage.” 

And my head could explode. 

“I’ll take a rain check.” I squeak out. 

“I’m a licensed masseuse. That’s what I did while Dr. Free Ride sponged off me.” she says sliding to her feet, and I’ll ignore the fact that I was standing so close to her at the time that she just slid down my body. 

“I know. I’ve gotten one of your massages before.” 

I got a bunch of them, actually, when I was recovering. That’s what got me into this mess, I think. 

“So has Sam.” 

“You gave Sam one!?” Why am I mad at that? She was actually pretty professional about it. It wasn’t like she was straddled over me at the time or anything...unfortunately... 

I shouldn’t be thinking like this; I should be thinking about Amy. I could go to Amy’s house right now, apologize for whatever wrong I’ve committed this time, and get a naked massage. Donna links her arm through mine and drops her head onto my shoulder as we walk slowly out of my office. 

Yeah, not going to Amy’s. 

“You know what the WORST thing is about getting drunk with the First Lady?” she asks as she holds onto me to help her walk straight. 

“What?” 

“That I can’t TELL anybody I got drunk with the First Lady.” 

“You told me.” 

“It’s not the same.” 

“As?” 

“Telling everyone I know.” 

“The First Lady’s been photographed with a drink before. I’m sure you can tell your mom.” I acquiesce. 

We make our way to the security desk and I sign us both out. My cell phone vibrates in my pocket and I fish it out and look at the caller i.d. It’s Amy. I return my phone to my pocket and let the call go to voice mail. Somehow, she turned something she did wrong into something I did wrong, and I just don’t feel like playing that game tonight. Besides, I can’t just put Donna in a cab and let her fend for herself. 

Right? 

I mean, I have to make sure she gets home all right. It’s what we do. We look out for each other. She’d never leave me drunk to my own devices. The security desk calls a cab, and I lead her outside. Maybe the fresh air will perk her up a bit. She just continues to lean into me, clutching my arm like a lifeline. When we’re in the back of the cab, she falls sideways into my lap. This is a vision I don’t need tonight. 

“Girlfriend got a little drunk tonight, huh?” the cabbie chuckles. 

“Yeah.” I say simply, not bothering to correct him. I have to confess, I often don’t correct people like this, who don’t know us. When waiters, cab drivers, hotel clerks, whoever make the mistake of thinking we’re a couple, I don’t correct them. I should, but I don’t. Especially since I’m currently seeing another woman. 

We pull up to her building, and after paying the driver, I heave her out of the cab and up to her apartment. I don’t even try to find her keys, I just use mine to get in. We stumble through the door and I leave her standing there swaying in the living room as I turn on lights for her. I bring her back to her bedroom and pull back the sheets, wishing I was here for an entirely different purpose. I pull out pajamas from her dresser and toss them at her, laughing as they end up covering her head. 

“Get changed.” I order. “I’ll go get you some water and aspirin.” 

“You’re not going to help me get changed?” she asks. 

“I think that’ll entail a little bit more restraint than I’m willing to muster up this evening, Donna.” I say. 

“Huh?” 

“Nothing.” I say turning toward the door. “Get changed. I’ll be back in a minute.” 

It actually doesn’t take me too long to get her water and aspirin, but in her current state, I want to give her enough time to get changed. If I walk in on her half-dressed.... 

As it turns out, I gave her too much time. When I reenter her room, she’s changed into the pajamas and passed out, snoring lightly into her pillow. I lay the glass and pills on the nightstand and pull the covers up to her chin. I look down at her for a few minutes, brushing the hair away from her face, before finally leaning down and kissing her forehead. 

When I start to feel the temptation to just crawl into bed with her and crash here tonight, I shut off her bedroom light, turn on her bathroom light, so she doesn’t break her neck later in drunken attempt to get there, and lock the door on my way out. 

TBC


	6. Moments

Post- Arctic Radar 

~DONNA’S POV~ 

Oh. My. God. What am I doing? Someone please explain to me what I’m doing? I was having a nice time with Jack having drinks. He’s an interesting guy. He’s had an interesting career. We were having a really nice time. He seemed genuinely interested in me, despite all the crazy kind of stuff about me Josh told him today. 

Okay. So, Josh is actually the reason I’m standing outside his apartment door trying to work up the courage to knock on it. I sent him the get-me-out-of-this-date-distress-code, and true to our unspoken promise, he waited five minutes and paged me. Which in turn enabled me to give Jack the got called back to the White House line. Of course, that left Jack thinking it was something political because if something exploded, he would have been paged long before I was. For a brief time tonight, I forgot he worked there now, too. 

So, why did I ditch this perfectly nice and good looking guy? The first guy to come along in ages that wasn’t a gomer? That was actually interested in me and didn’t want something from Josh? 

Why the hell do you think? 

Josh, of course. 

Except, honestly, Josh is probably just as confused at the moment. When I called his apartment after the page, he asked me what was wrong. I gave the standard line, “I’ll be right there.” He said, “I’m at home.” I said, “Yup, I’ll be right there.” So he knows I’m coming by. And he’s probably busted an artery by now trying to figure out what happened. I mean, I was talking about Jack all day. I made Josh go talk to him for me. And it really almost gave him hives. 

It was a weird day at the White House, and Josh was acting kind of weird, too. First we end up with all those temps from Cabinet Affairs, and the weird one with her Star Trek pin, so Josh got freaked out by that. Then the Jack thing. But it wasn’t until I was actually out with Jack that it hit me like a freight train. 

Vicki Hilton. 

Josh spent all day on that. He was obsessed with it. He met with Fitzwallace, Amy, and then Leo. I never really stopped to think too much about it because between Jack and the Trekkie, my day was pretty full. But there it was. 

Suddenly, I needed answers, so when Jack excused himself to the men’s room, I sent Josh the distress signal. I needed to talk to him. If it’s not what I thought, I can reschedule with Jack. If it is.... 

So, here I am. Outside his apartment. 

And I’ve lost my nerve. 

I turn away from the door and am about to run like hell down the stairs when it flies open. He’s standing there looking incredibly concerned. It occurs to me now that he’s probably been pacing since we got off the phone. 

“Are you all right?” he asks immediately, pulling me into his apartment and closing the door. So much for making a run for it. 

“Yeah.” I nod. 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah.” I smile nervously. 

“What happened? I thought you liked him?” 

“I did. I mean, I do.” I stumble out and stop speaking. 

“Donna?” he asks slowly. 

“Yeah?” 

“Do I have to go challenge a Navy Commander to a fight?” he asks. 

He’s so freaking sweet sometimes. 

“No.” I say with a quick laugh. “It’s nothing like that.” 

“Good. Because they get sabers, and I’m pretty confident that would be messy for me.” 

“What happened with Vicki Hilton today?” I blurt out. He blinks quickly and I immediately see that I was right. Something was up there. 

“You couldn’t ask me that on the phone?” He replies moving to the refrigerator and pulling out two beers. I think he gets why I’m asking. But, of course, I couldn’t ask him over the phone. If I asked him over the phone, I wouldn’t have seen that quick blink. Other people would think nothing of that from him, they wouldn’t even notice it. But I’ve come to know that as I just said something that threw him for a loop. 

“No. What happened?” I ask. I take the offered beer from him and take my coat off. His eyes go wide for a minute when he sees what I’m wearing. It’s not that outrageous. It’s jeans and black sweater, but the sweater is pretty low cut and tight. What do you want from me? Half an hour ago I was on the prowl for a Navy Commander. Besides, Josh has seen me bare a lot more skin than this in formal wear. But it’s having an interesting effect on him at the moment. 

“She’ll be court martialed.” he says softly. “There will be a hearing and she’ll be dishonorably discharged.” 

“Having an affair with a subordinate officer is against military code?” I ask. It’s suddenly imperative that I know as many facts right now about this as I can. Josh spent all day on this. He was practically obsessing over it. 

“No.” he says shaking his head. “She was ordered to stop, and she disobeyed the order. THAT’S against military code.” 

“It wasn’t a combat order.” I say. I’m grasping at straws. 

“Apparently, they’re all combat orders.” Josh replies. That was obviously the result of his conversation with Leo. “The President wants to bring some people in and have a debate over it, but it won’t do her any good and the White House isn’t going to get involved.” 

He looks at me guardedly as he crosses over to the other end of the couch. He’s still on the other side of the room from me, but there’s nothing in between us. 

I was right. 

God dammit! I was right. He saw an opportunity. If it was okay for the military... 

“You spent all day on this.” I said softly while offering him a sad smile. 

“I was all over it, Donna.” He replies just as softly. He was all over it, and I was trying to get a date with Jack. 

“I’m sorry.” I say. 

“Doesn’t matter now.” he shrugs. 

“Yes, it does.” 

“They’re not stepping in; it’s not okay.” 

I sigh heavily and sit down on the couch with a soft thud. He sits down on the couch, as well; not right next to me, but not too far away either. 

I finally work up the courage to look over at him. I can see the same disappointment reflected back at me. This is the first time one of us has taken an actual aggressive role in pursuing this thing between us. 

“I’m sorry.” he whispers. 

“Sorry for what?” I smile. 

“I tried.” 

“You sure did.” I laugh. 

“You think we should talk about it?” he asks cautiously. 

“Why?” I automatically reply. It was totally reflexive. 

“Because you ditched out on a date and I spent all day trying to get the White House to intervene and save Vicki Hilton’s job.” he replies. “There’s a reason.” 

“Yes,” I agree. “There is.” 

“We should talk about it.” He says again. “We never talk about it.” 

“If we can’t do anything about it, why should we talk about it?” I counter. Yeah, all right. So I’m making it difficult. What does he want from me? We can’t do anything. We can’t. Period. End of story. There is no happily ever after for us at the moment. 

“I never asked you what you were doing for Thanksgiving tomorrow.” He says, changing the subject. 

“Going to CJ’s.” I say tonelessly. “You?” 

“Going to CJ’s.” He confirms. Well, that’ll be nice and awkward for tomorrow. “Donna.” he says, and I turn to look at him. He’s got his head resting on his arms on the back of the couch. 

“Yeah?” 

“Should I keep looking for an opportunity?” 

Well, that’s a loaded question. And knowing him as I do, I can only imagine how hard it was for him to even ask it. I can’t leave him out there on the limb all by himself. I can’t ever leave him. 

“Yeah.” I say. 

“Kay.” his attention is diverted to my shoulder as he reaches out and draws little circles on my shoulder, watching his finger move in slow, lazy circles. It’s by far not an intimate touch, but I see it for what it is. The need for contact. 

You know what? Screw it. I’m going to prove to him that he’s not out there all by himself. I crawl across the couch, and as soon as he sees me move, he holds out his arms. I wrap my arms around his waist and cuddle down into his chest, laying my head over his blissfully beating heart. His arms come tight around me, and I close my eyes as he kisses my forehead. I’ve never been more tempted to kiss someone in my entire life than I am with him at this moment. I want so badly to turn my head up. I could do it under the guise of saying something to him. We could pretend it was a slip. It’s not like we haven’t before. I can feel my body start to tremble and he holds me tighter. 

It’s not until this very moment that I realize how badly he wants this. I never wanted to believe it before. I had certainly seen signs over the years, as I’m sure he has from me. Stolen looks, holding onto a hug longer than what might be considered appropriate, that kiss. At first, I just thought it was a mutual attraction. We’re both flirty, tactile people. But now I see he fell just as deep as I did. Only he’s been the only one looking for an open window. 

Until now. 

TBC


	7. Moments

Post - Commencement 

JOSH’S POV 

I’m sitting in the dark in my office having a perfectly decent brooding fest when there’s a light tapping on my door. I can’t help but smile. She’d never let me stay in here too long. 

“Enter.” I say. 

She walks through the door and closes it again softly behind her. 

“You okay?” she asks walking a few steps into the room and crossing her arms. She’s a little bit on the defensive around me tonight. She got stuck working on something with Amy. When I got back to the bullpen, they were standing there staring at each other. It was a little strange. I definitely interrupted something. Amy headed off to the East Wing. I asked Donna what happened and she wouldn’t tell me, but something definitely did. 

I shrug. “Anymore than anybody else?” 

“I saw the coverage outside the party.” she says walking a few steps closer. 

“Yeah?” I ask. 

“I don’t know.” she shrugs looking down. She wants to say something and she’s not sure how I’ll react. Things have been weird between us for a while now. Our rhythm seems to be temporarily displaced. It’s like suddenly we don’t know what to do with each other. We’re out of sync. But what she doesn’t know is that she can still pretty much say anything she wants to me. We may be drifting, but we’re still drifting with each other. 

“Donna, what is it?” I finally ask. 

“It’s just there were a lot of emergency lights around...” 

All I can do is smile at her and sigh. “I’m all right.” 

“You sure?” 

“Are you going to tell me what happened with you and Amy?” 

“What makes you think something happened with me and Amy?” She replies looking over at the bookshelf. 

“Well, besides the fact that when I walked in it looked like the showdown at the OK Corral,” I begin. “There’s the fact you’re not looking at me right now.” 

“You’re reading too much into it.” she says, picking up a pen from the desk. 

“And you’re still not looking at me.” 

She takes a deep breath and throws a look at me over her shoulder. Yeah, she’s lying. So much for the never lying to me again, bit. On the other hand, whatever it is, is probably a little awkward to mention to me. Donna’s got a little conundrum happening over there. 

“She just said something that bugged me.” She’s trying to go for nonchalance, but she’s not quite getting there. 

“And that was?” 

“It’s Amy; she says things that bug me all the time.” she shrugs. 

“For instance?” 

“Josh, I think there’s other things to focus on.” 

“There are a hundred things to focus on. But at the moment, I’m choosing to focus on this.” I push myself out of my chair and walk around the desk. She turns to me, squaring off for the fight. “What did she say to you?” 

“I don’t think we should talk about it.” she says softly. 

“It was personal?” I ask. Amy and Donna have never been overly fond of each other. I’m not surprised. No one I go out with is fond of Donna. It’s hard to explain to women after they meet her that I’m actually not sleeping with my beautiful, young, blonde assistant...even though I want to. 

“Josh, please don’t push it.” 

But I have to. If Amy is saying nasty things to Donna, I want to know about them. Amy frequently tries to get me back into bed. She’s incredibly tempting, but if she’s being mean to Donna... 

“I’m going to push it, Donna.” 

“She asked me if I was in love with you.” she whispers harshly. 

All right, then. 

I’m the one that just had to know, and now I do. I really should have listened to her. Why, after six years, I can’t figure that out, I have no clue. I REALLY want to ask her what her answer was, but I already know it. But just once, I’d like to actually get to hear her say it. 

“I’m sorry.” I say softly. 

“For?” 

“Pushing. Her saying something like that to you, it was out of line.” 

She laughs, but it’s an empty laugh. “Don’t worry about it.” That’s not likely to happen, but she’s quite obviously not interested in pursuing this conversation. “They closed the airports?” 

“Yeah.” 

“How can he think clearly right now?” 

“I don’t know.” I say honestly. “He’s got Leo with him. Leo will take care of him. He’ll stop him from doing anything...” I cut myself off when I realize what I’m saying, and Donna looks at me like she’s surprised I’d voice concerns like that in the White House. 

“I think I’m going to get out of here for a little while.” she announces. “I want to clear my head, take a shower, get changed. You should come with.” 

“I should come with you to take a shower?” I smirk. 

She smiles, and if I’m not mistaken, blushes a bit. “I meant you should go to your place and take a shower.” I know what she meant, of course, but I’m a guy, and she’s Donna, and I can’t help it. 

“I should stick around here.” I reply. 

“You have a cell phone.” She replied. “We’ll be back soon. Tell Margaret she can get you on your cell.” 

I give her a deep sigh and look at her for a second. She knows I really don’t want to leave, but I’m also doing absolutely nothing right now, like everybody else. I suddenly see what this is. This is her feeling just as helpless as me, but if she’s taking care of me, then she’ll feel like she’s doing something. 

“Kay.” I finally give in. She disappears back out to the bullpen and I grab my jacket and my keys. When I come out of my office, she’s swinging her tote bag over her shoulder. She looks like she’s on a mission now, and I laugh to myself because at least someone’s got a purpose. 

I shove my hands in my pockets and turn towards the doors. She wraps both her arms around my arm, and together we’re off to kill time. 

TBC


	8. Moments

Post-Disaster Relief 

DONNA’S POV 

He flings open the door to his apartment at my insistent knocking. The second I look at him, I know he’s been drinking. 

I can’t really say I blame him. 

“You sent Ryan.” he says immediately. There’s an accusatory tone to his voice, but his eyes say something else entirely. 

“Yeah.” I nod walking in and closing the door. Part of me was afraid to come here tonight; part of me was afraid Amy was going to be here. Amy seems to be...relieving a lot of his tension lately, then causing more when she’s done, I think. 

She won’t stick by him now though. 

“I’m fine.” he insists. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Who won the argument with the Capitol Building?” I shoot back. He looks like I just smacked him. Maybe I should. 

“You had Richie Rich tail me?” Now he’s really accusing me. That seems to have pissed him off. Good. I don’t care. 

“I put you in a restaurant with the Senate Majority Leader’s nephew.” I shoot back. “That was a bad thing?” His gaze softens. He didn’t think of that. I don’t think he’s thinking of much because he looks like he hasn’t slept in a week. 

He sits down with a huff on the edge of the couch. “My image isn’t your job.” 

“I beg to differ.” I reply. 

“Do you know what your job actually IS?” he shoots back. 

That’s it, Josh, your world is imploding so piss off absolutely everyone around you. Too bad for him I know him so well and know his game. 

“As a matter of fact, I know exactly what my job is.” I say softly crossing to him. I stand right in front of him and it forces him to have to drop his head back to look up at me. His eyes are blood shot and I can see the circles underneath them. He’s hurting. He’s hurting in silence, and that’s fine, but I’m not going to let him pretend that he’s not. He got screwed by Leo. He should be pissed about it. 

I lean down and lightly run my fingers along his hairline. He closes his eyes against my touch. Yeah, I know. I’m stoking the fire. Sue me. 

“How many times, Josh?” I ask softly. “How many times are you going to fall on the sword before it impales your career?” Then he does something unexpected. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me tightly to him, pressing his cheek against my stomach. I continue to run my fingers through his hair. 

“As many as I’m supposed to.” he replies softly. 

“This is worth it to you?” I reply. I shouldn’t be saying things like this, but they sent him into battle then took away his armor. He doesn’t say anything, and that in and of itself speaks volumes. “You really should take a closer look at the What a Shame file. There’s a lot of good stuff in there. It’ll give you a reason to go there everyday.” 

He looks up at me now and presses his chin against my stomach. “I have a reason to go there everyday.” he says softly. 

I kneel down in front of him, and he loosens his embrace, but still keeps his arms around me. I wrap my arms around his neck and he takes a deep breath into my shoulder. 

I wish there was more I could do for him. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make Chris Carrick go away. What a coward that man is. He’s slimy and lacks the courage of his convictions. The differences between Josh and Carrick are glaring. For one, Josh has integrity. He may fight recklessly for something he believes in, but at least he fights for what he believes in. At least he has the courage to stand up and say stop. 

“Are you going to desert me, too?” he asks against my hair. 

I pull back look him in the eyes. I want to smack him upside the head for thinking something like that. But as I look at him now, I see something in his eyes I’ve only ever seen once before and it breaks my heart. 

Fear. 

“No.” I say simply. I lean in and kiss him softly on the lips, pulling back quickly before it can turn into something else, then I stand up and head for the kitchen. I grab a glass from there and head for the bathroom. I fill the glass with water, and then open the medicine cabinet and pull out the Benedryl. I crack one open and let the granules dissolve in the water, then grab two Tylenol and head back out to the living room. He looks emotionally spent, but a little more hopeful. 

I hold out my hand to him and he takes the Tylenol and takes them without water. Figures. “Drink the water.” I order thrusting it out to him. 

“I didn’t need it.” he protests. 

“You need to hydrate or you’ll be hung over.” I retaliate. He sighs dramatically, but takes the glass and drains it. “Now go to bed.” 

“I’m not going to be able to sleep.” he says shaking his head. “I’m just going to end up laying there.” 

“Oh, you’ll sleep.” I assure him with a laugh, and it dawns on him what I’ve done. 

“You just drugged me, didn’t you?” he smirks up at me. 

“Not too much.” I assure. “Just enough for you to get a good night’s sleep.” 

He was already in flannel pants and a t-shirt when I got here, so it’s pretty easy to put him to bed right now. I usher him into the bedroom and pull down the covers, and he crawls in without protest. 

“This isn’t in your job description either.” he murmurs settling down onto the pillow. I sit down on the edge of bed and gently run my fingers through his hair. 

“No, it’s not.” I agree. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” he asks closing his eyes. I think he was more tired than he was willing to admit, so the Benedryl is really going to knock him on his ass then. 

“I don’t know.” I smile with a smirk. “Must have been something good though, right?” 

“Not good.” he yawns. “Amazing.” 

TBC


	9. Moments

Post No Exit 

JOSH’S POV 

There’s a loud banging on my door and when I open it Donna’s standing there. 

And she’s furious. 

But she’s also amusing to look at because she obviously went home to change, but she didn’t take her hair down, so she’s got this whole formal hair thing going on with pajama pants, a tank top and zip up sweatshirt. I’d laugh, if she wasn’t so pissed at the moment. 

“Is it true?” she demands and I can see tears brewing in her eyes, too. What the hell is going on? 

“Is what true?” 

“CJ said you’re sending me to Gaza to shut me up. She said I’m just going to hold the press’s hand.” 

I’m speechless. Why the hell would CJ say something like that to her? 

“And that sounds like something I would do?” I counter evenly. I’m really trying not to lose my shit on her right now, but you can bet your bottom dollar that CJ isn’t going to have a head tomorrow. 

“She said I bumped the press guy.” 

“You did.” 

“Josh!” 

“Donna, you said you wanted to grow in your job. Go to Gaza and show me what you can do!” I finally raise my voice. “I don’t care what CJ says about the guy that was originally on the trip. I care about what I told you to do. News flash, Donna! I outrank CJ!” 

Okay. I feel bad for yelling at her. I seem to have gotten through to her though, but I can see there’s something she’s not telling me. 

“Why do I get the feeling that bumping the press guy isn’t actually what this is about?” I ask, and she’s silent. “Donna, what else did CJ say?” 

“She said...” she starts, but drifts off and seems to change her mind about telling me. 

“What?” 

“It’s not important.” she said shaking her head. 

“Well, yeah, it is.” I argue. “The first thing you told me she told you was a lie, so I want to know what other untruths she told you tonight.” 

“She said I should get another job.” she says softly, and I think my heart just stopped beating. “She said I should find out who I am and what I can do without you.” 

Okay. Now there’s a crushing feeling in my chest, and I can feel my hands start to shake. I snap my cell phone up off the end table and whip it open. I am FURIOUS at CJ. How dare she say something like that to Donna! How dare she stick her unsolicited nose in something she knows absolutely nothing about. I’m going to annihilate her right now. 

Except for the fact that Donna has now launched herself at me and we’re wrestling for control of my cell phone. I’d be turned on, if I wasn’t so incredibly pissed off right now. We fall onto the couch in our struggle and I’m holding the phone as far away from her as I can, but she’s on top and has a definite advantage. She finally wins the fight by tickling my side, and snatching the phone away. She snaps it shut and holds it tightly in her hand. 

But she’s still stretched out on top of me and we’re both breathing pretty heavily. 

“Are you going to follow her career advice?” I snap out. I don’t mean to sound so harsh, but I’m pissed and I can’t help it. She shakes her head slowly, keeping her gaze on mine. My hand drops from the back of the couch to her waist. This is quite the compromising position and neither of us is making any attempt to move. 

“You said it’s an opportunity to grow in my job.” she said. “Let’s see what happens with it.” 

“Even if it means you keep working for me?” 

“I don’t have a problem working for you; I have a problem with the rules that come with it.” 

We seem to be getting back to this a lot lately. I certainly can’t get enough of hearing that she still wants me as much as I want her, but at the same time, I think it’s a little dysfunctional. It worked for a long time, but I’m not sure how much longer it can work. Haven’t we waited long enough already? 

“I can’t change that.” 

“I know.” 

“By the time we figure out a solution, we’ll be out of office.” 

“And it’ll probably have been right in front of our faces for eight years.” she smiles sadly. 

“Eight years?” I smirk. 

“Well, no. Maybe seven.” she smiles coyly. 

“Maybe eight.” I say shaking my head. 

“That’s a long time to wait.” she whispers. 

“It’s worth it.” I whisper. 

“It better be Earth shattering.” she returns. 

I chuckle in response and instead of getting up, she slides to my side between me and the couch and drops her head onto my shoulder, and I let both my arms come around her. 

“You looked really beautiful tonight.” I say softly. I can feel her smile against my chest, and the tension from a few minutes ago starts to ebb away. 

“Leave CJ alone.” she says. 

“No.” 

“Josh.” 

“Fine.” 

“Fine, my ass.” she scoffs, and now I’m thinking of her fine ass. “You’re going to wait until I leave to confront her.” She knows me so well. “Just let it go.” 

“Do you know what she’d do if I told Carol to quit?” I counter. 

She lifts her head and looks me square in the eyes. “It’s different.” 

“It’s not.” 

“She said I outgrew my job.” 

“You did. And so you’re going to Gaza.” I reply. “And it wasn’t a decision I came to lightly you know.” 

“I know,” she grins. “You’ll be without an assistant for an entire week.” 

“More like you’re going to be in the most dangerous region on the planet for a week.” I counter quietly, brushing the hair out of her eyes. I watch her eyes and I see the moment she gets my meaning. 

“We’ll be traveling with a lot of security.” she says, running her thumb across my cheek. 

“Well, you’re not going with the Screaming Eagles, so....” 

“Admiral Fitzwallace will be there; he’s handy with a saber.” she smiles. 

How can we have a moment like this and not be considered romantically involved? This is more intimate than anything I’ve ever had with any other woman, and yet, we’re not sleeping together. I don’t understand how this is possible. How is it we can say so much without saying anything at all? It’s probably best not to question it, but boy am I glad we do, because I don’t think I could let her go there without her knowing how much I love her. 

TBC


	10. Moments

Post-Gaza/Post-Birnham Wood 

Leo walked into Oval Office. CJ, Toby, Will, and Kate were all seated around the President. 

“Where’s Josh?” CJ asked as she watched Leo close the door. 

“On his way to the airport.” Leo said simply sitting down in his usual place next to the President. Four jaws dropped in stunned silence. The President slowly removed his glasses and studied is his old friend. 

“Leo.” Toby said. It was half a question and half a statement. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Leo bit at them. “There’s somebody in here that thinks we need to find them and kill them was well thought out and valuable advice for the President of the United States from his top domestic policy advisor? Someone here thinks that’s a good idea right now?” 

“He said that?” the President asked Leo. Leo and the President shared a long look that wasn’t lost on the other occupants of the room. CJ and Toby were vaguely aware of Josh’s Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. They’d all noticed his erratic behavior the Christmas after the shooting. But no had ever told the rest of the senior staff the results of that session with Stanley. Only Josh, the President, Leo and Donna really knew. 

But Leo had just recognized that outburst for what it was and what it could be. 

“His mind’s not here, it’s in Germany,” Leo said evenly. “where it’s going to stay until he sees her for himself.” 

“But, what if he misinterprets that?” CJ asked. 

“I hope he does.” Leo replied. 

“Leo.” CJ and Toby chorused, then CJ shot an uncomfortable look over at the President. They were now openly discussing the big elephant in the room whenever Josh and Donna were around, and it really wasn’t appropriate for the Oval Office. 

“CJ, if something happens, when Donna comes back, we’ll transfer her.” Leo said. “We don’t even know for sure how she is. She may not come back here; she may not want to. If she does, we’ll deal with it then.” 

The President scratched his chin with the end of his glasses arm. “Leo, if she’s okay, and she comes back, transfer her anyway.” the President directed. 

“Sir?” Leo asked. 

“Charlie’s going to be graduating soon and I’m booting him out of here.” the President advised gesturing to the closed door. “I’ll need someone new out there, and Donna will be perfect. Charlie does a lot more than hold my door, and I think Donna will be a perfect fit out there.” 

“Sir, Josh will implode.” Toby spoke quietly. 

“Josh is imploding now, it sounds like.” the President countered. “It’s not Donna the assistant he needs. He just hasn’t been able to have her any other way.” All eyes in the room widened. “Why is it,” the President continued. “that I have a Nobel prize, yet people around here continually chose to believe that I’m oblivious to my surroundings?” 

“Okay, sir.” Leo nodded. “I’ll tell him when he gets back.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JOSH’S POV 

I’ve been pacing back and forth in her hospital room for nearly an hour now. She woke up an hour ago and went back to sleep, and now I’m trying to walk off these heightened emotions. The curtain is partially drawn separating the bed from the rest of the room where Colin and Donna’s mom are quietly watching television. 

I think that’s the other reason for my pacing; keeping the IRA Bagman over in the corner where he belongs. I don’t know what happened between them in Gaza, I’ve got a pretty good inkling, but she asked for me before her surgery, and she asked for me when she woke up, so he can just take a seat. 

I made the decision to finally stake my claim on my way back from my meeting with the Son of the Sword, but when I got here, Donna had already been wheeled off to surgery. I’m not even going to get into what I felt waiting to hear from the doctor that the same thing that killed my father WASN’T going to kill the woman I love, too. I’ve never had time stop for me before while I was conscious. I can’t believe she had to go through 14 hours of that waiting for me. No wonder she still tears up when someone brings it up. 

“Josh?” My eyes snap to the bed, but it wasn’t Donna that spoke; it was her mother. I can’t believe how much they sound the same in person. I don’t think I ever really noticed it before. 

“Do you need something?” I stop my pacing to ask. 

“Are you going to stop pacing?” she asks. 

“No.” I say and resume my sentry. 

“You’re going to need new shoes by the time you get back to the States. Do you seriously always pace this much?” 

“Yes.” 

She tosses me a look that stops me in my tracks, and I smile for the first time since, I don’t know when. “I know that look.” I say as I continue to smile. “Donna gives me that look. It’s her ‘calm-down-before-I-have-to-chisel-you-off-the-ceiling-look.” 

“I was thinking more along the lines of strapping your ass down to a chair with a set of medical restraints, but it sounds like you get the picture.” she grins in return. Something is conveyed between us in that moment and I wonder how much Donna confides in her mother. 

I break out of my reverie when this time, I do hear my name called quietly from the bed. 

“Hey.” I say coming over to her side. “I’m here.” I take her hand with one of mine and stroke her hair with my other. 

“Are you mad at me?” she asks through a hoarse voice. Well, I wasn’t expecting that. 

“Am I mad at YOU?” I ask. “Are you kidding me? What would I possibly be mad at you for?” 

She holds my gaze for a few moments. She’s talking about the IRA Bagman guy. “I’m not mad at you for him.” I say softly, but I hope my voice carried enough to reach beyond the curtain. I think Danny Boy over there should hear this. I’d like to be mad. I really would. But how can I be? It wasn’t all that long ago that I was sleeping with Amy again. And while in this instance I’m a big believer in what’s good for the goose is NOT good for the gander, she’ll dress me up one side and right down the other if I tell her that. 

“I’m sorry.” she says. 

“Don’t be, I mean it.” I insist. “There wasn’t anything going on with us.” 

“But there’s always been.” she says. I think the morphine’s working on her like alcohol does. 

“Come on, don’t beat yourself up. Were you mad at me for Amy?” 

“Yes.” 

Oh. 

“Really?” 

“Yes.” 

“I didn’t know that.” 

“How could you think I wouldn’t be?” she counters. 

I shrug. If she thinks I’m getting into this with her now, she’s nuts. Her mother and the IRA Bagman are just on the other side of the curtain, number one; number two, seven hours ago she was in surgery. And she wants to fight with me about this? I’m hers now. That’s it. Period. End of story. 

I gently sit on the edge of the bed, keeping her hand in mine. “I brought you roses before, you know.” I announce, still keeping my voice low. I’m not entirely sure what her mother might think of all this. 

“You did?” 

“Uh-huh.” I nod. “On my way back from my meeting with the Son of the Sword.” 

“How did that go?” 

“Well, he wasn’t wielding a sword, so rather well, I think.” 

“Josh.” she scoffs. 

“I’ll tell you about it later. I can’t really talk about it now.” What with the IRA in the room and all. 

“Where are they?” she asks looking around the room. 

“They sort of got mangled in my extreme haste to get to your OR.” I reply. 

“Sorry.” she winces a bit. 

“It’s okay.” I nod quickly. “Your mom is here. Do you want to talk to her?” 

She nods quickly and I get up to pull the curtain back. Her mom heads right for the bed, as Colin stands studying me. Oh, did he hear all that? Gosh, that’s too bad. 

TBC


	11. Moments

DONNA’S POV 

Okay. Josh is clearly agitated about something. He came back into my room after a phone call with Leo and he’s been bothered since. I tried to just let it go. I mean, being the President’s top domestic policy advisor and trying to advise him while the White House is facing off a war, and doing it from Germany over a cell phone, has to be a little frustrating. And so I thought it was just that. But if I didn’t know better, I’d swear he was...pouting. 

“Josh, what’s the matter?” I finally ask. 

“Nothing.” he says quickly. 

“Josh.” I say again. 

“It’s nothing, Donna, don’t worry about it.” 

“Well, I AM going to worry about it because you’re obviously upset.” I say. “Seriously, is it Colin?” 

“No.” 

“Because I told you, I sent him on his way. He’s not coming around here anymore. There’s nothing going on.” I say. Dammit! Did I screw this whole thing up by sleeping with Colin? Josh hasn’t asked exactly what happened, so I haven’t shared. But he’s actually not an idiot, I know he knows. Whatever happened to what happens in a foreign country doesn’t count? 

“It’s not about him.” he insists. 

“Then what is it?” 

“Donna, really.” he sighs. “I don’t want to stress you out right now.” 

Okay. Those were the wrong words to use. 

“Too late.” I reply. “You’re going to have to tell me so I don’t obsess over it, and start thinking about things that are much worse than it actually is.” 

He groans and presses his palms to his eyes and tilts his head back. I call this his, “I’d like to the thank the Academy” gesture. I swear, sometimes this man can really bring the drama. 

“The worst part might be academic anyway.” he says looking back over to me. 

“Why?” 

“Well, it all depends on if you want to come back to the White House when you’re well enough to go back to work.” 

WHAT!? 

“Why wouldn’t I go back?” I ask fully aware of the frantic tone my voice is making. 

“Everyone wants you to go back.” He assures quickly, carefully sitting on the edge of my bed. “They just weren’t sure if you wanted to, and after I tell you this, I’M not so sure you’d want to.” 

“What’s going on?” 

“When you return to work, Leo and the President want to transfer you.” 

“Why? What did I do?” Transfer me? Transfer me away from Josh? What the hell? We’ve always been professional. Well, at least at the White House. I suppose certain things could be called into question OUTSIDE the White House. 

“Nothing!” he says quickly. “You’re not in trouble or anything. It’s kind of what I did.” 

Oh, shit. I should have known. 

“What did you do, Joshua?” 

“Well, when Leo told me I could come here,” he begins. He’s got his she’s-going-to-freak-out voice on now. “It was kind of after I had a little bit of a nutty outside the Oval Office.” 

“You what?” 

“I sort of lost it outside the Oval.” 

“Sort of, or did?” 

“I did.” 

“What happened?” I demand. 

“I don’t really know.” he says with a wince. What? How could he not know? 

Oh, wait. I know how he could not know, and this is really not good. 

“What do you mean, you don’t remember?” I ask forcing my voice to remain calm. 

“It wasn’t a thing!” he insists. He’s caught on to my line of thinking. 

“Then why don’t you remember it?” 

“I was very emotional at the time!” he says defensively. 

“Did Leo tell you what happened?” I ask. 

“Yes.” he says softly, looking down at our linked hands. Funny, I don’t remember him picking up my hand in that exchange. 

“What happened?” I ask gently. 

“I told you. I was upset. Apparently, I said some stuff that they thought was out of character for me.” 

“What does this have to do with transferring me?” Donna asked. 

“It means that you and I would be able to pursue a personal relationship with a Presidential blessing.” He says. 

Wow. I need a minute with that one. 

“What if I don’t want to transfer?” I ask. 

“I’m not sure there’s much of a choice at this point.” he says. I can see that the not working for him bit isn’t sitting well with him. 

“Well, where are they going to stick me?” I demand. I get blown up in Gaza and now I’m being shoved in a corner because Josh and my feelings for each other has finally been discovered? This is fair? 

“Evidently, the President is making Charlie find another job after he graduates and the President wants you to take over for Charlie, but apparently, he wants to reshape that job to utilize your considerable talents better.” 

“Charlie made less than me.” 

“It’s not a paycut. In fact, with the added responsibilities to the job, it’s going to be an increase.” he says. 

“They want to move me from you to work directly for the President?” 

“Yeah.” he says with a slight smile. “You know how much the President admires your freakish ability to remember stuff.” 

“Which has gotten YOU out of hot water countless times.” she shoots back. 

“Yes, it has.” he nods. “He’s really reshaping that job specifically for you. I think it’s what you’re looking for?” 

“What about you?” 

“What about me?” he shrugs. 

“Who’s going to work for you?” 

“Some poor unfortunate soul.” 

“Josh.” 

“Do it, Donna.” he finally says. 

“What if I’m not what he wants?” I ask quickly. I’m starting to panic. Nobody interacts with the President more during the day than Charlie, and that would be me. And these mysterious “changes” to the job are making me more than a little nervous. 

“Donna,” he says leaning down to me and stroking my cheek. “It’s time.” Before I can argue, he kisses me. And I’m suddenly reminded of what I’m getting out of the deal here. The kiss goes on for quite a while before somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I remember he used the words “the worst thing” that was bothering him. That means that there’s another thing. 

Reluctantly, I pull away, determined to get to the bottom of his previous mood. 

“What else is bothering you?” I ask. 

“Nothing now.” he smiles, and leans in to kiss me again. 

“Joshua, you’re incorrigible.” I shoot back and pull away again. “Tell me.” 

He says and looks me in the eye. “I can only stay a few more days. The President is holding peace talks at Camp David, and since you’re on the mend, I’m being ordered back, more or less.” 

“More or less?” 

“I was given a choice, but it didn’t really sound like I had one, if you know what I mean.” 

“You’re leaving?” I squeak out. This is horrible! I don’t want him to leave. I mean, I won’t be alone. My mother is staying until I go back to the States, but Josh is leaving? Of course, this makes me start to cry. 

“I’m sorry.” he says quickly. “I don’t want to. I’m afraid if I leave, something’s going to happen, and I’ll be all the way in DC and not with you...” 

“No, no.” I say through my tears. “I’m not trying to guilt you. I don’t mean to get so upset. I just...really got used to you being here.” 

“I’ll tell them no.” he says quickly. 

“No, Josh. You can’t do that.” 

“Yeah. They’ll probably just have some marines here haul my ass out anyway.” 

I smile and he starts stroking my cheek again. I turn and kiss his palm and when I look back to him, his eyes are suspiciously misty. 

“You’re so beautiful.” he whispers. I’m about to protest that I think I look like I went through a shredder, but I’m cut off. “I was so scared. I thought I was never going to see you again. The last thing I remember before showing up in this room was seeing your car upside down on t.v.” 

Okay. We’re going to a dark place here. 

“I’m okay.” I say. He closes his eyes and shakes his head no. You got to get Josh to get what’s going on right now. He won’t focus on the fact that I’m all right...mostly... he’s stuck with what happened and how it COULD have went, how it went for Admiral Fitzwallace and the others. “God, I wish I wasn’t in traction right now.” I sigh dramatically, hoping he caught the actual tone of my voice. He did. He looks up at me expectantly. 

“Me too.” he says softly. 

“I bet not for the same reason I do.” 

“I’ll bet not. What’s your reason? Got an itch somewhere?” 

“I...well, yeah, I do, but that’s not it.” I reply and he smiles. I tug him to me by the shirt and he willingly comes closer. “If I wasn’t in traction, I could show you properly how happy I am that you came to me.” I whisper huskily and kiss him. I really like all this kissing. 

“You’re alive. That’s thanks enough.” 

“That’s right, Josh.” I say holding his face in my hands so he has to look me in the eye. “I’m alive.” 

He gently drops his head down to my chest and hugs me lightly. Thank God for morphine. This might hurt a bit without the drugs. 

“Hey, Donna?” he whispers, keeping his spot. 

“Yeah?” 

“Now, I know why you’re obsessed with hearing my heart beat.” 

TBC


	12. Moments

~JOSH’S POV~ 

“So....I may have misjudged your relationship with Donna.” I hear CJ say from my office door after following me in. I literally just got back from Germany. I’m not even fully dressed. I’ve been told I have about two hours to sift through my desk and go home and pack for the week at Camp David. 

“Misjudged is a good word.” I reply evenly. True to my word to Donna, I didn’t actually rip CJ’s head off for saying that stuff to Donna before she left for Gaza. But CJ knows I know. I was more than a little short with her the next day and right up until she told me about the explosion. 

“I really...I thought it was one-sided.” she confesses. “I thought it was one-sided and I just thought she should do something for herself for once.” 

“Not even considering that by her staying with me, she WAS doing something for herself?” I counter. “Not considering that maybe she already had talked to me about growing in her job and THAT was the point of the CODEL and NOT me sending her to shut her up?” 

“Josh.” CJ says gently. 

“I’m pissed off at you, CJ.” I say. 

“I know.” she says with an apologetic smile. 

“It’s not one sided.” I say sitting down in my chair. I almost can’t see CJ from behind the pile of stuff on my desk. I buzz one of my assistant deputies to come in here and sort through this crap and prioritize it. I turn my attention back to CJ as the assistant deputy begins to haul this stuff out of my office, trying her best to ignore the glare I give her that I shouldn’t have actually had to tell them to do this. 

“It’s not one sided.” I repeat. 

“Well, I know that now.” she says. “Are you two, like, a thing now?” 

“We’ve always been a thing, CJ.” I reply with a small grin. I’m going to let that hang there for a moment and let her try and figure out my exact meaning. 

“Officially?” she replies. 

“Officially makes it sounds like the White House is going to take a position on the personal lives of it’s staff.” 

“You don’t think people are going to ask me about you flying to your assistant’s bedside in Germany for a week?” 

“I don’t really care.” I say. “I wasn’t out of touch for a week. I spoke to you, Leo, Toby, the President, and Kate Harper from my cell phone.” 

“Josh.” 

“The White House doesn’t comment on the personal lives of its staff. Do your job. I didn’t take a military transport. I flew Lufthansa.” I shoot back. I’m not ready to let CJ out of the penalty box yet. 

“I heard about the transfer.” she hedges. 

“Yeah.” Is all I say. 

“Donna will do really well over there. The President likes her a lot. He’s changing that job up a lot. I think she’ll be happy over there.” 

“Yeah.” I say again. 

“I’m sorry!” she burst out frustrated. “I thought I was helping her!” 

“And screwing me over in the process.” 

“If she didn’t work for you, you could do this!” she argues waving her hand at me. 

“She wanted to work with me still, CJ.” I say. “That’s why nothing was going on.” 

“Well, now it can.” CJ says. 

“Yes.” 

“So, is it then?” 

“I’m not sure I’m inclined to share.” I say. 

“All right. Well, now you’re just playing the martyr.” 

“You were telling my assistant to quit!” I shoot back. “Instead of coming to me and saying, hey, Josh, maybe we could look into how Donna can grow in her job, you told her dump me on my ass.” 

“I’m sorry!” 

“You told the woman I love, and who loves me, P.S., that she’d be better off without me.” 

“I thought it was one-sided.” she insists again. 

“It’s wasn’t. And it wasn’t up to you to jump to conclusions and get involved in something you knew nothing about.” 

“How long are you going to make me apologize for?” she demands. 

“Until you get the chance to apologize directly to Donna.” I shoot back. 

“I really upset her.” CJ concludes. 

“You really upset her.” I confirm thinking back to that night in my apartment before she left. “She didn’t ask you for career advice, she didn’t ask you for advice about me.” CJ looks appropriately chastised, so I don’t continue. But she really made Donna upset that night, and I thank God that instead of blindly following CJ’s advice, she confronted me instead. 

“Is Donna pissed at me?” she asks. 

“We didn’t talk about you over there.” I shoot back. 

“She’s going to take the transfer.” 

“She doesn’t really have a choice, if she wants to keep working here, which she does.” I counter. I think CJ can see now that I’m not going to lighten up with her for a little while, so she thankfully mumbles something about seeing me later and leaves me alone. 

I sigh and look around my office. Not only do I miss Donna, but I miss her presence here, too. She really fills our space, and it’s depressing to be here without her. I buzz that same assistant deputy and ask her to pull together everything I need to take with me to Camp David. If she’s surprised at being requested to do something that Donna normally does, she has the good sense not to sound it. 

I head over to my apartment to pack for the trip to Camp David. Of course the place smells like it’s been closed up for a week, abruptly at that. All my mail is in the kitchen and I throw that into my bag. I think Toby was coming by throughout the week. He must have taken note of the smell because that garbage is empty and so’s the fridge. Toby is really the only person I know who can do these little gestures of friendship, all the while telling you that he’s not doing it because he actually likes you. I wonder if he was doing the same thing for Donna. I assume he was, but I don’t want to insult him by asking, so once I’m packed I head over to Donna’s place. 

Once inside her apartment, I immediately feel lighter. Just being surrounded by her stuff is comforting. Between you and me, if I wasn’t being ordered to Camp David, I’d probably stay here all week. Well, that’s saying that I didn’t stay in Germany. I look around her small loft apartment and see that there’s stuff that’s going to have to be done before she returns. It’s a little cramped in here for her to get around in a wheelchair. I’ll talk to Toby on the way up and see if he’ll help me move stuff around for her. A quick look in the kitchen tells me that Toby was providing the same services to Donna. 

My cell phone rings, and I smile as I see Donna’s number on the caller i.d. A goofy grin spreads across my face. 

“Hey.” I greet into the phone. 

“You’re conscious?” she asks. 

“Barely. I’m at your place right now.” I confess. 

There’s a brief pause on the other end. “Why?” 

“Well, I had to pack for Camp David, so I came over here when I was done to make sure everything was okay.” 

“Is it?” 

“Yeah. Toby’s been taking care of our places.” 

“God, the bills are probably piling up.” she groans. 

“I’ll take care of them.” 

“You don’t have to do that, Josh.” 

“I know. But since I’m here, is there anything you want me to send you?” 

“Pajamas.” she says quickly. “I don’t want to wear this stupid hospital gown anymore. I want my--” 

“Red plaid ones.” 

“How’d you know?” 

“They’re the ones you always wear when you don’t feel well.” 

“Sometimes you really amaze me with the details you choose to pay attention to.” And I can hear in her voice that she’s smiling. 

“I’d hardly call you a mere detail.” I say as I move into her bedroom and rifle through her drawers until I find the pajamas she’s asking for. “Anything else?” 

“Nah. My luggage from Gaza arrived today. I have the rest of what I need.” 

“Kay.” I say, and there’s a pause on the line. “I miss you.” 

“I miss you, too.” she says quietly. “Make sure you eat at Camp David.” 

“I will.” 

“I know you will because I asked the President to keep an eye on you.” 

WHAT?! 

“Donna, the President is trying to broker peace in the Middle East, and you asked him to make sure I eat right?” 

“He wanted to.” 

“I’ll bet he did.” 

“We had a nice conversation earlier.” 

“About your new job?” 

“Yeah. It’s going to be a lot of research, briefing, things like that.” 

“See what the President thinks of your colored index cards.” 

“I’ll bet he’s not near as snarky as you.” 

“I have to get back to the White House.” I say. “Are you sure there’s nothing else here you want?” 

“The only thing I want, you can’t send.” 

“What’s that?” 

“You.” 

I’m grinning like and idiot now as I grab all her mail and lock up her apartment. It feels really good to say this kind of stuff out loud finally. 

“Hey Donna?” I ask. “One more thing.” 

“Yeah?” 

“How do I FedEx this stuff to you?” 

I hear her sigh dramatically on the other end. It’s her Joshua-you’re-hopeless sigh. “Give it to Margaret. Who knows where it’s going to end up if you address it.” 

“Hey, Donna.” I say as I unlock my car door. 

“Yes, Josh?” 

“I love you.” 

“I never get tired of hearing that.” 

“I never want to get tired of saying it.” 

“I love you, too.” I smile as we disconnect the call and head back to the White House. 

TBC


	13. Moments

~DONNA’S POV~ 

We’re finally on the ground at Dover after the flight from hell. Well, I shouldn’t say flight from hell, I guess. Really, it was just long and since I was in a hospital bed, really boring. I did manage to talk Colonel Leahy into allowing me to be transferred to a wheel chair once the plane landed. I don’t want to be in a bed anymore. I was in a bed for two weeks. Not only that, I don’t want Josh to see me getting off the plane in a hospital bed. I think that’s an image he doesn’t really need. I already know it’s caused at least one recurrence of the PTSD outside the Oval. 

I talked to Leo after Josh left, who after MUCH prodding and begging, finally told me exactly what Josh said. I was more than a little shocked, to tell you the truth. Josh isn’t violent; Josh isn’t vengeful; and Josh’s solution to an international situation isn’t to bomb the hell out of something. Leo said it was just like that first time in the Oval. Thank God he let him come to me. I cringe when I think about what it could have evolved into. 

Leo also told me that he was flying in Stanley for me, and Josh, too, if he needed him. I guess he doesn’t want to make the mistake of being lulled into a false sense of security that I’m dealing with everything okay. I scoffed at first, but then I was none too gently reminded that blowing up in the Oval Office like Josh did would be bad. 

“Oh my God,” my mom breaths looking out the window. “There’s a lot of reporters out there.” My mom was allowed to make the flight back with me on the military transport. I was worried that it was going to cause some bitching in Congress since she’s not only a civilian, but she doesn’t even work for the government, but the President said Congress would look pretty bad telling the sole survivor of the CODEL bombing where they lost two congressmen and their aides that she couldn’t have her mother on the flight back with her. 

“It’s all right, mom.” I reply. 

“They’re all going to try to talk to you?” she asks sounding concerned. 

“They’ll yell questions at me, but they won’t come close.” I say. “I’m being escorted off the plane and to the car by military personnel. The press won’t come near me if they’re there.” 

“Oh, I see Josh!” she says brightly. I think my mother will forever be in love with Josh herself. She thought it was incredibly romantic for him to show up in Germany for a week with absolutely nothing with him. Myself, I thought it was typical impulsive Josh. Thank God we were on a military base and he was able to buy pretty much everything he needed. Only Josh... 

“Well, they’ll definitely stay away from me if he’s there.” I say smiling. “They’re not going to want to face his wrath. Josh and Toby tend to overreact when it comes to errant reporters. They’re not going to want their credentials pulled, so they’ll stay back.” 

“And, of course, he’s pacing.” my mother smiles. 

“If Josh kept still for too long, mother, he’d explode.” 

FINALLY, they’re taking me off the plane. I can see the camera flashes, and it looks like there’s television cameras, too. I guess I’m a big story. My cell phone rings and I see it’s Toby’s office line. 

“Hi, Toby!” I greet into the phone. “We just landed. I see Josh here.” 

“Yeah, I know.” he replies. “I just wanted to tell you, Donna, that they’re carrying it live on CNN.” 

“Are you kidding me?” I immediately reply. 

“No.” he says shortly. He sounds none too happy about that. 

“Oh, I see Andie here, too!” I smile and wave over to where Josh and Andie are, and Josh starts to move across the tarmac towards me. 

“Okay, well, the perkiness will work.” Toby says, as I assume he watches me on t.v. while he’s talking to me. “And thank God they’ve got you coming out in a wheelchair and not the bed.” 

“Yeah, that was me.” I say. “Listen, Toby, can I call you from the car? Josh is now running at me.” 

“Yeah, it’s really quite the visual on t.v.” Toby replies and I snap my phone shut on him. He’ll probably call as soon as he sees us in the car anyway. 

Josh stops in front of me and the airman pushing my wheelchair stops me. He’s smiling brightly, and I can’t believe it’s been a week since I’ve seen him. He kneels down on the tarmac next to my wheelchair, which I think will not only make his knees hurt, but his pants a mess. But I don’t care. “Welcome home.” he says softly, then kisses me. I can hear my mother sigh and whimper out an “Aw!” After quite the kiss, he pulls away and smiles at me. 

“That was quite the moment captured on CNN.” I smile. I love that the whole country just saw that. 

“Yeah, I’m sure Toby’s going to have a few things to say about that.” he replies standing back up. He gestures to the airman and then takes over pushing my wheelchair to the car. Andie greets me with a hug at the car. 

“So, which one of the three of us do you think Toby’s going to actually call once the car door is closed?” she asks, then climbs into the car. My mother is next, then Josh. The airman finally helps me slide just inside the door, collapses my wheelchair and the driver stows it in the trunk. 

It’s my cell phone that rings. 

And it’s Toby. 

“Hi Toby.” I laugh in greeting. 

“I’m calling you, Donna, because I don’t think I can speak to Josh right now.” 

“I thought it was romantic.” I smile and look at Josh, who’s next to me, holding my hand. 

“It was the gayest thing I’ve ever seen.” Toby replies. “They’re going to be playing it over and over.” 

“Is there anything you actually need, Toby?” I ask. 

“No.” he sighs. “I just wanted to say welcome home.” 

“Thanks.” I hang up the phone and am amazed again at how sweet Toby can be when he forgets to be mean. 

I drop my head onto Josh’s shoulder and catch Andie’s knowing smile. She and I got pretty close over there. I’m glad she came out. I think she and I will always been bonded by the events of that trip. I’m glad she and my mom are here with me, but I wish I were alone with Josh. There’s so much I want to say to him that I can’t say in front of them. 

“Um...Donna?” He says. He sounds a little unsure of himself at the moment. 

“Mmm-hmm?” I ask from my happy position on this shoulder. 

“I just want to forewarn you before we get to your apartment.” he hedges. Oh God, what did he do? 

“Forewarn me?” 

“Well, Toby and I rearranged the furniture and stuff, so it’ll be easier for you to move around in the wheelchair, and I put some stuff in storage in my building. We’ll put it all back when you can move around without the chair, I promise.” he says quickly. It never even occurred to me that my apartment is set up like a nightmare for someone in a wheelchair. Between that and my mother staying with me for a few weeks, it’ll be pretty tight. 

I pick my head up off his shoulder and kiss him on the cheek and he smiles. I just can’t believe he thought of something like that. 

“We also switched out your couch for a futon, so your mom will have a more comfortable place to sleep.” he continued. 

“Oh, Josh, you didn’t have to do that.” my mother gushes. Yeah. Josh charmed the pants right off of her, let me tell you. Someone doesn’t seem so annoyed about me missing Christmas anymore. 

“It was my pleasure.” 

“When did you do all this?” I ask suddenly. “You’ve been at Camp David all week.” 

“Yesterday was the first chance we had.” he says. “Will and Charlie helped with putting stuff in storage, so it went kind of fast. Well, except for the putting together of the futon. Charlie had to come back and do that.” And Andie scoffs. I imagine her reaction is to Toby not being able to put a futon together, even armed with instructions. 

“Thank you for thinking of it.” I say. “I never would have thought of it.” 

“Also, I’m sure that this will come as no surprise, but once you’re recovered from the time change, the President and First Lady want you and your mother to come over for dinner.” Josh says. My mother gasps. 

“You’re not allowed to come?” I pout. 

“I’m coming.” he nods quickly. “There’s some things I need to talk to you about, too.” 

“Leo?” I ask. I called Josh yesterday in a bit of tizzy when I saw on the military channels that Leo had had a heart attack. Of course it was four o’clock in the morning here at the time, so it was difficult getting many details out of Josh. 

“Yeah.” He says. He’s going to be laid up for a while. The surgery went well, but the recovery is going to be a bit of an uphill battle. 

“So who’s running the show at the White House?” I ask. 

“That would be yours truly.” he replies. Well, of course that makes sense. He is deputy chief of staff. I furrow my brow a bit and look to the front of the car at the driver. I didn’t notice earlier, but now I recognize him as secret service. “Yeah, he’s with me.” Josh says answering my unasked question. 

I guess there really are some things we need to talk about. 

“Are you sure it’s okay that you came all the way out here?” I ask quickly. 

“Yeah.” he nods. “It’s all right. We’re on top of everything.” 

We pull up to my building and there’s another secret service agent standing on the front steps. This is going to take some getting used to, I think. Given Josh and my history together, starting a relationship I think is challenging enough, but to do it with the secret service around? I’m thinking it’s time for Zoey and I to have one of our girl talks that it’s been ages since we’ve had. Once outside the car, Andie says goodbye and hails a cab back to the hill. It’s quite a challenge for me to get up the stairs and into my apartment. Josh asked about seven times if he could just pick me up, but since he’s not always going to be there when I’m coming and going, I refused. 

I’m surprised at how functional my apartment is when we get there. It’s a lot more sparse, but what’s left is set up extremely well. I arch a brow at Josh, who looks back sheepish. 

“All right, fine. Matt did the designing and Toby and I did the moving.” He confesses. That must have been a sight to behold. A republican congressman ordering around the Acting White House Chief of Staff, and the Communications Director. I’m surprised there wasn’t blood shed. Josh helps me hop to the bedroom, as my mom announces her need to take a long, hot bath. 

Once I’m situated on the bed up against pillows, with more pillows elevating my leg, Josh sits down in front of me, and before I know it, I’m in his arms. He’s holding me tightly and I’m so exhausted from the trip and the time change, I nearly fall asleep right on his shoulder. 

“I’m so glad you’re home.” he says softly in my ear. 

“Me too.” I murmur, stifling a yawn. He helps me settle down into a comfortable position to sleep in. “Do you have to hurry back?” 

“I’ll stay until you’re asleep.” he promises moving next to me, and I curl into him as much as I can. He strokes my hair gently, and my last thoughts before I drift off to sleep are of how good it is to be home. 

TBC


	14. Moments

~DONNA’S POV~ 

All right. I’ve been home for a week, and I can’t stand it any longer. I have to get out of here. The only places I’ve been able to go is physical therapy, and dinner at the White House. My mother was so nervous, I thought she was going to break something. The dinner guests were limited to the President and First Lady, me, my mother, Josh, and Zoey. It was pretty overwhelming for my mother. But, of course, the candidness of the First Lady soon put her at ease. If there’s anything you quickly learn about Abby Bartlet, it’s that formality and protocol can take a seat. She talked my mother’s ear off from the second we walked through the door, or Josh and my mother walked through the door, I wheeled in. 

But between Abby’s chatter and the President making fun of Josh, my mother eventually calmed down and was able to form coherent sentences. Of course, my mother absolutely gushed to the President about how wonderful Josh has been. She went on and on so much that Josh actually blushed. A gesture that myself and the President and First Lady were all over. 

To say Josh has been wonderful, is actually an understatement. Who knew he could be this attentive? 

He comes by my apartment every night. Sometimes it’s much later than others, since he’s still Acting CoS. He’s started sleeping in my bed with me. I think he was freaked out at first with my mother in the next room, but after a rather impressive handjob on my part, he reconsidered the benefits. 

You have NO idea how frustrating it is to finally be able to be together, and here, I’m all banged up and can’t do much. Of course Josh is the picture of patience in that department, which I think in and of itself speaks volumes. 

I’m laying here in bed, watching a movie on t.v. when I see him standing in my doorway. He’s leaning up against the doorframe looking at me. How long has he been there? 

“Whatcha doing?” I ask smiling. 

“Just looking at you.” he shrugs and walks to the bed. 

“How long were you there?” 

“A couple of minutes.” he laughs. “I fear for your safety if someone broke in here. You were a little lost in your movie there.” 

“More like lost in thought.” I reply. He slides gently into the bed and kisses me softly. I still can’t seem to get used to being this way with him. He’s so gentle and so open. “You look tired.” I say taking in his appearance in the glare of the television. 

“I am.” he sighs and drops his head to my shoulder, while wrapping his arms around me. 

“You don’t have to come here everyday.” I say. “You could sleep more, if you didn’t.” 

“I sleep better here.” he says. “Plus, if I don’t see you, I’ll only be depressed and cranky, and that’s not good for anybody.” 

I smile and begin to stroke his hair. I think he’s about to fall asleep, but what I say next prohibits that. 

“You’ve got to spring me out of here, Josh.” I say softly. 

“Donna.” he sighs. 

“I’m going crazy! I’m so bored.” 

He picks his head up and looks at me. “Donna, nobody appreciates more than me how much it sucks to be stuck in the house. But nobody also appreciates more than me the need to let your body heal and not push yourself. You’re singing to the wrong choir.” 

“You’re throwing my own rules at me.” I grumble pushing myself back into the pillow. 

“I am.” he confirms smugly. 

“It’s like I’m under house arrest!” I protest. 

“I know.” 

“You’re enjoying this.” I accuse. 

“I’m absolutely not.” he replies. “The sooner you’re better, the sooner I can stop thinking about you hanging upside down in a Suburban.” His eyes are suspiciously shiny right now. 

“I’m sorry.” I say softly. 

“Tell you what.” he says propping himself up on his elbows. “Tomorrow’s Saturday. If nothing explodes after senior staff, I’ll come and bust you out of here and we’ll have lunch down on the Mall.” 

“Really?” I ask perking up. 

“Outside in the sun and everything.” 

“That sounds perfect.” 

“On the condition that you promise to tell me if you’re in pain or you get tired right away.” he continues. 

“I promise.” I say quickly and kiss him. 

“It’ll be a good time to talk about stuff.” he says hesitantly. Okay. Well, I don’t like the sounds of this. 

“Stuff? What stuff?” I ask quickly. 

“Stuff.” he shrugs. 

“Don’t do this to me, Josh.” I say, as I feel the panic welling up inside me. “Don’t freak out on me and tell me that after six years --” He shushes me and presses a finger to my lips before replacing them with a kiss. 

“It’s not that kind of stuff.” he assures softly. “I love you, and now that I can get my hands on you, I’m going to hold tight.” As if to emphasize his point, he wraps his arms tightly around me. He has amazing arms. 

“Don’t say things like that to me, you freaked me out.” I admonish lightly. 

“I didn’t want to get into this so late at night,” he begins. “But I don’t want you to worry either. Leo’s not coming back as CoS.” 

Wow. I never really expected Leo not to go back. The President always said Leo bounces back. Unless... 

“He’s all right, isn’t he?” I ask quickly. 

“Yeah.” he nods just as fast. “But I guess the stress of the job and the hours Leo put in, and would put in if he came back, would be too much on him.” 

“What are you saying?” 

“The President wants me to step up and be permanent chief of staff.” 

Oh my God. It’s everything he’s worked towards being handed right to him. He’d be amazing at that job. But he seems almost hesitant about it. He’s holding back. 

“You don’t want it?” I ask confused. 

“I don’t want to put the hours in Leo did, and sometimes it’s going to be unavoidable.” he says. “I can get called back in at all hours of the night --” 

“Josh, how is it any of this different than before?” I reply. “We worked 14, 16 hour days, sometimes more. We’ve gotten called back in at all hours of the night.” 

“We did that together.” he says softly, as his fingers start trailing lightly under my shirt, along my stomach. It’s a little hard to concentrate. I’m not used to him touching me like this, and it feels nice...really nice. 

“First of all, I’ll be on the other side of the Oval Office. If you’re there late, I’m sure I’m going to be there late. Secondly, we’re not going to be doing it together anymore whether you take the job or not. I’m being transferred out of Operations either way. At least this way, I don’t have to worry about you trying to play favorites to get time with the President.” I smirk at him, but he doesn’t see it. He gently pushes my shirt up to expose my abdomen and starts showering it with soft kisses. The reaction it stirs in me is incredible. He pushes himself up to meet my lips and as he does, his hand slides up the inside of my shirt and cups my breast. 

Well, that was quite the smooth move. 

Not that he needs to actually make moves. I think I’ve waited long enough for him to touch my body like this. He can dive right in, if he’d like. His mouth moves from my mouth to my neck and my fingers thread into his hair. If these are the feelings he can invoke in me by just doing this, I’ve got some really hot sex to look forward to. 

“Josh?” I ask with a slight groan. 

“Mmm?” You’ll have to excuse him, his mouth is full at the moment. 

“You’ll stay tonight, right?” 

He nods and captures my lips again. 

I hope the secret service doesn’t freak my mom out in the morning. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JOSH’S POV 

Do you think it’s too early to propose to Donna? It’s probably too early to propose to Donna. We do have history though, so maybe it’s not. 

The thing is, I REALLY like waking up with her in the morning. I like that she’s the first thing I see in the morning. I like being greeted by her smile. I like being able to touch her and kiss her. I mean, talk about getting the day started on the right foot. 

You can ask anyone in the White House, my mood has improved ten-fold since she’s been back in the States. I’m even back on good terms with C.J. again. 

We’re not even having sex, but everything with her is amazing. Every intimate moment we have, and I make it a point to have many, is intense. It’s kind of amusing because it’s almost like I’m back in high school, going through those early stages of a relationship where you have to hit all the bases in a pre-determined amount of time before you can get home. When you’re an adult that waiting period is, like, three dates max before you’re having sex. 

Maybe it’s me being presumptuous, but I always assumed that with Donna and me it would be the first date. Truthfully, I assumed that we wouldn’t actually make it to the first date. The sexual tension between us has always been so strong that literally everyone who’s ever met us has noticed it. I just never imagined that when we finally started a relationship, Donna would be in traction. But considering what happened to everyone else, I’m okay with that. I’m okay with waiting for as long as she needs. I know she’s frustrated by her lack of ability to fully participate in those moments, but I’m okay with it. I sort of like it this way. I like having the ability to show her how much I love her without distraction. I think I owe her a lot of those moments. You may not know this about me, but I’m not the easiest person to tolerate. 

I’m making my way out of the bedroom to the kitchen to start coffee when I hear her mother yelp from the futon. She’s woken up and discovered my secret service agent reading at the kitchen table. She’s been around them all week, and still hasn’t gotten used to their presence. She streaks off to the bathroom, I assume to make herself more presentable and I share a grin with my agent. 

You know what’s cool about having a secret service detail? The night person keeps a pot of coffee going, so it’s ready when you get up in the morning. I make a cup for me and Donna and head back to the bedroom. I was intending on waking her up when I went in, but I pause in the doorway like I did last night. 

I love watching her. I’ve watched her for almost six years now, and I never get tired of it. I love how she sticks her thumb between her teeth when she gets nervous. I love how she tilts her head to one side when she’s getting a read on me. I love how she rolls her eyes when she thinks someone’s being an idiot. I love how she blushes when I throw an innuendo at her. I love that innuendos can still make her blush and she hasn’t been jaded by all the gomers in her life. I love how over the years, she’s found random times to touch me and it’s made me tingle every time. 

I watch her sleeping now and she looks so peaceful. I still try to wrap my mind around the fact that I spent the night with her in that bed. 

I cut off the conversation about the chief of staff position last night. I know she wants to talk about it, and we will again at lunch, but last night, I just needed to kiss her. I needed some kind of confirmation that we’re really doing this. Because if I tell the President yes, and I’m sure I will, I don’t want to do that job without being equally as committed to her as I am to the job, which is going to be difficult on the easiest day. 

“Are you going to bring that coffee over to me or just stand there all morning?” 

Busted. 

“You know, as soon as your slack ass is out of bed, you’re back to getting your own damn coffee.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Josh.” she says pushing herself up to a sitting position. “It’s me that won’t bring you coffee, not the other way around.” 

I sit down on the bed in front of her, but put the two coffee cups on the night stand first. I pull her gently toward me and kiss her. 

“Good morning.” she smiles. 

“Morning.” I say softly and hand her her coffee. 

“Are you practicing for a career as a voyeur? You keeping staring at me.” 

“I can’t help it.” I confess. 

“Are you going to take the chief of staff job?” 

“I thought we were going to talk about this at lunch.” See how I’m finally used to her lightning topic changes? 

“Yes, well, when you’re making plans with someone who works in the White House, all plans are soft. If something happens, who knows when we’ll have that conversation?” She’s right, of course. 

“What if I can’t do it?” I say voicing my real fear. She’s the ONLY one I’d ever say that to. 

“Don’t be stupid, Joshua, of course you can do it.” she scoffs. I’m constantly humbled by her unfailing faith in me. Even when I screw up, she never falters. 

“You know how I am with foreign policy.” 

“That’s why the Constitution made a Secretary of State.” 

“I’m about the same with military situations.” 

“Thus why we have a Secretary of Defense.” she replies. “Josh, you don’t think the President knows your resume? If Leo can’t do it, you are absolutely the only logical choice. You’ve been molded by Leo himself. Leo’s been grooming you for that job since the first campaign. Of course, of course you can do it.” 

You know, for someone who consistently insists on not feeding my ego, she does a remarkable job of it. 

“Josh,” she says softly running her fingers through my hair. “Everyone is afraid they’re going to let him down, and he’s afraid of letting us down.” 

“Will you make sure I don’t get lost in that job?” 

“You bet your ass I will.” she smiles, which I think is all I need, all I’ve ever needed. Because when Donnatella Moss smiles at me, I can leap tall buildings in a single bound; I can broker peace in the Middle East; and I can see my future. 

TBC


	15. Moments

JOSH’S POV 

Donna’s getting ready to kill me. I can see it. She definitely has on her Josh-stop-hovering-or-I’m-going-to-kill-you face on. I’m not kidding. She actually has a face that says that. Thank God we’re in the White House right now, because when it comes down to it, when we’re in this building, I will ALWAYS win. Do not think I’m afraid to pull rank on her to get my way. I am so not. I am, however, afraid of what happens when we leave the building because I pulled rank on her. 

The thing is, she looks tired. She won’t fess up to it because it’s her first day back. She’s been here for 12 hours now and she’s completely absorbed in what she’s doing. The President has pretty much snowed her in with research and reading. These are things Donna excels at because she’s a human sponge. She will absorb the details of this mountain of binders and regurgitate the salient details to the President without him having to sift through the crap. He did it on purpose, too. It’ll take her at least a week to get through all this, which means she’s stuck at her desk. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure the President actually does need to be briefed on all this, but I think he really laid it on to keep her from moving around. 

I wouldn’t be half the pain in the ass she thinks I am if she’d just use the stupid wheelchair. She insisted on the crutches upon her return to the White House. And now she looks tired. 

I cruised into the Oval’s outer office just in time to see her pinching her forehead and studying what she’s reading intently. 

“Donna, go home.” I order. Debbie rolls her eyes and goes back to her computer. 

“Joshua, go away.” she shoots back. 

“No, I don’t think I will.” 

“Stop hovering.” 

“Go home.” 

“Who’s the best judge of my body?” she asks. 

“Me.” 

Debbie snorts. Donna glares at me. 

“I’m sorry?” 

“Me.” I say again. 

“You sound like an idiot.” 

Yeah, so? 

“I stand by my statement.” 

She drops her hand down to her desk and looks at me incredulously. 

“That’s awfully brazen.” 

“No. I don’t think so.” I shrug. 

She sits back in her chair and crosses her arms across her chest and arches a brow. 

“I am the best judge of your body, Donna. I’ve watched you for six years. I know that when you’re pinching your forehead like you just were, you’re one step away from sleeping at your desk. I know your eyes lose their sparkle when you’re exhausted, like you are now. And I know how you look when you’re hiding something from me. Me, Donna. I’m the best judge of your body.” 

Take that. 

She looks stunned. She doesn’t know what to say to that. It’s because I’m right. And if she threw that argument at me, I’d imagine I’d look much the same way she does right now. 

“I’m not leaving.” she says defiantly anyway. 

“Then I will have you physically removed from the building.” I retort picking up the phone. She should know better than to mess with me where she’s concerned. You’d think she’d have learned this about me by now. 

She hops up on her good leg and snatches the phone out of my hand slamming it down. 

“What if I lay down on your couch for an hour?” she offers. 

Hmm...a counteroffer. 

“What if you just went home and laid down in your bed for the rest of night?” 

“What if I lay down on your couch for an hour?” she repeats. 

“And actually sleep for said hour?” 

“Yes. Well, I’ll try.” 

“I will drug you.” 

“You’re going to say that standing ten feet from the Oval Office?” she challenges. 

“I will say it in the presence of the President. I’m talking about drugging you, not him.” 

She looks at me for a long moment before breaking eye contact. “Debbie, I’ll be in Josh’s office for an hour. Would you mind letting me know when the hour’s up?” Because she knows I won’t do it. 

“All right.” Debbie acquiesces, though Debbie can be shifty. I bet she won’t come get her either. She grabs her crutches, and I follow her out the door and around to my office. It still feels weird thinking about this as my office. All the little touches of Leo are gone, and Margaret’s trying to get me to repaint it. I honestly could give a shit what color it is. 

Donna drops the crutches in front of the couch and finally settles into it. I pull the blanket off the back of it, and gently tuck her in. She looks up at me with her wide, innocent eyes, and I crouch down in front of her. 

“If I forget to tell you I love you because I’m pissed at you right now, I just wanted to get that in there.” she says through lazy eyes. 

“Kay.” I smile. She doesn’t like to be handled any more than I do, but her eyes are getting heavy now, and I stroke her hair and kiss her forehead until she’s asleep, which takes all of about 30 seconds. 

 

CJ’S POV 

I’m watching Josh move around the office as he talks to me and Toby. Donna’s been asleep on the couch for well over an hour. Debbie poked her head in to wake her up, but Josh shooed her away. She stirs in her sleep now and he momentarily sits on the arm of the couch and strokes her hair. She burrows deeper into the couch and is still again. 

How did I miss this all these years? I mean, Donna always wore her heart on her sleeve, but how did I miss how Josh felt? I knew he had a sweet side. I’d seen evidence of it a few times over the years, but he’d always been pretty careful to hide his feelings about Donna from the rest of us for the most part. He’s let it slip a few times. Inauguration night being one; the day the CODEL was bombed being the obvious one. 

But until I told him about the bombing, I didn’t really know that he was all out in love with her. His confidence in himself and the job of chief of staff has grown since he started out as just Acting CoS and I wonder if Donna’s not responsible for that. They fight like cats and dogs, but she’s always there for him; always pushing him to do better. She’s the first to celebrate his successes and there to protect him from the rest of us in his failures. Because when Josh fails at something, it’s...well the magnitude of Chris Carrick. 

She’s always there to tell him what he doesn’t want to hear when he needs to hear it the most. All these years, quietly taking care of him back in the shadows And I don’t think I’ve ever really got it until now. I only ever thought it was one-sided. I mean, how could you not? He hasn’t always shown her the...well, consideration...she’s shown him. Amy Gardner to name one glaring example. 

We’ve been talking about candidates for a new Deputy CoS, but no one seems right. Toby and I have been splitting the overflow, and so far, we’ve been doing all right, but we’ve got to get someone in there. 

“Will.” I say. 

“Will’s gone to the dark side.” Toby says immediately. 

“We can order him back.” I reply. 

“And I can strangle him on sight.” Toby retorts. I guess Toby is still a little sore at Will for going to work for the Vice President. I think Will is more interested in climbing the ladder fast than actually doing anything useful. 

“There’s no assistant deputies you’re comfortable with?” I ask Josh. 

“I guess.” he shrugs. He sounds unconvinced. I watch him wander slowly throughout the room, and it hits me just how much of a presence he’s been in this office over the years. He fills the room like it was meant to be his and I feel a pain of regret that he’ll likely only have the year and a half we have left in here. If he’s not running the campaign of the democratic nominee next year, they’ll bring in their guy if they win. 

Margaret comes in with a styrofoam container and a bottle of water. “Were they out of Yoohoo?” he asks her. 

“No.” Margaret replies simply. 

Josh opens the container and groans. “I asked for a burger and fries.” 

“Donna said when you ask for a burnt burger and fries, what you really mean is a grilled chicken caesar salad.” Margaret replies. Josh looks up at her incredulously, but Margaret schools an innocent expression on her face and shrugs. 

“Does she?” he asks. 

“Take it up with her.” Margaret says and leaves the office. 

“I will.” Josh announces. He picks a crouton off his salad and lobs it over at Donna. It ricochets off her forehead and she opens her eyes. She blinks a few times and sits up. 

“What the hell is this rabbit food?” he demands. 

“What time is it?” she asks the room at large. 

“9:30.” Toby answers. 

“9:30!” she exclaims with a glare at Josh. “Joshua, that’s one hour LONGER than I agreed to.” 

“I haven’t done the math.” he dismisses. “Getting back to the rabbit food.” 

I see the President coming through the doors, assuming looking for either one of them. “You’ll eat it and shut the hell up about it.” Donna barks at him. And the President backs his way back into the Oval and closes the door. 

“You don’t get to handle me in the White House anymore.” he shoots back, and Toby nods at me towards the door. 

“Your days of eating a side of beef a week are over, Josh.” She sends him the death glare and that most certainly is our cue. 

Toby takes a step to her and opens his hand to her. In it is his stupid pink rubber ball. “For ammo.” he says. She takes it from him, still glaring at Josh. 

“Who’s side are you on?” Josh accuses Toby. 

“Hers.” Toby immediately replies. “I’ve always liked her more than you.” 

Toby and I make a hasty retreat out of the office, and we can still hear them screaming at each other down the corridor. 

“Maybe we should make Donna his deputy. She’s the only one that can put up with him anyway.” Toby suggests. 

I laugh at the joke, thinking it’s not entirely outlandish. The further away from Josh’s office we get, the less I hear them yell. But I just can’t help but smile that even while ripping each other to shreds in there, I’ve never seen them so happy. 

TBC


	16. Moments

~DONNA’ POV~ 

I can hear Josh moving around the living room. His movements have roused me from my broken sleep. I look over at the clock and see that it’s 3 a.m. I hear him stumble over something in the living room and curse. I cringe as I think that it was most likely my bag. By now, he’s discovered that I’m here at his place. A few seconds later, and he’s standing in the doorway, the dim light from the living room shining behind him. 

“Hey.” he says softly crossing to the bed when he sees I’m awake. “Are you all right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“What are you doing here?” 

“Bad idea?” I ask quickly. We’re still trying to navigate this thing, and there don’t SEEM to be any boundaries, but I’m never quite sure. 

“No. It’s inspired.” he smiles lightly, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Something’s wrong with him, most likely the reason why he was getting home at 3 a.m. 

“What happened tonight?” I ask softly. 

“Nothing good.” 

“I figured that.” The President had gotten called down to the situation room around 6:30. He emerged around eight and sent me and Debbie home. I hadn’t seen Josh, but I got the distinct impression they were going to be down there for a while. I figured that he’d probably be leaving there late and wouldn’t want to come to my place for fear of waking me up, so I made the decision for him. 

I raise my hand and run my fingers through the hair over his temple, he closes his eyes and leans into my hand. 

“You okay?” I ask. That seemed to be the undoing though because he drops forward, his head in my shoulder and his arms tight around me. I’m thinking the answer’s a no. 

We stay there for a while holding each other. He doesn’t say anything. I have to admit that loving Joshua is frequently exhausting. I feel like my strength is being sucked right out of my body. And that’s okay; I’m fine with that. I’ve certainly sponged off him in the recent weeks. He pulls back just a bit and his left hand slides down the side of my body and he pauses when he comes in contact bare skin. He props himself up on his elbow and throws back the covers. Sure enough, his search reveals my bare, but scarred leg. 

“What happened to the brace?” He asks immediately. 

“I took it off.” I shrug. “It was bothering me.” That thing is INCREDIBLY uncomfortable, and my doctor told me right now I only really needed it when I was actually putting pressure on my leg. He gently runs his fingers over the scars and I shiver. When he notices that, his gaze snaps back up to mine. 

“Did that hurt?” he asks quickly. 

“No.” I smile. “Quite the opposite.” 

He continues to run his hand lightly up and down the side of my body, before his hand finds it’s way under my shirt and I suck a breath in. He grins. And this time, of course, it does reach his eyes. He lowers his lips to my breasts and I tilt my head back and close my eyes. Sometimes he’s so tender it makes me want to cry. He’s always treated me differently than other women, but well, now that I know him like this, quite frankly, those women are stupid for not hauling his ass to the alter. How could somebody NOT want to spend the rest of their life with him just like this? 

“Joshua.” I breath out. I meant to sound kind of seductive, but I think it came out kind of desperate. 

“Mmm-hmm?” 

“I was thinking that since my leg has been kind of achy today, that maybe a nice hot bath might make it feel better; it might calm you down a bit, too.” 

He immediately stops what he’s doing and picks up his head. 

“You want to get naked?” 

“You have that huge Jacuzzi tub.” I say innocently. “We’ll fit.” 

“You want to get naked together in my huge Jacuzzi tub?” 

He looks a little dazed. 

Silly man. 

“Yes.” 

“We’ve never been naked before. Together. I mean, we’ve never been naked together before. Of course we’ve been naked before...um...separately, because how would we get this far in life having never been naked before...” 

Oh God, look what I’ve done. 

“Well, there’s a first time for everything, right?” I say. 

“You want the first time we’re naked together to be in my huge Jacuzzi tub?” He squeaks. 

I think his head just exploded. 

“Bad idea?” I tease. 

“Oh no, good idea.” he quickly assures. “One of your best ideas ever.” 

“I thought so.” 

“Um...but it’s 3:15 in the morning.” 

“Do you care about that?” 

“Not so much.” he says pushing himself off the bed and bouncing to the bathroom. I hear the tub water start. I push myself to a sitting position, and he enters the room, just as I’m about to push myself up. 

“Ah, ah, ah.” he chides quietly. I yelp out in surprise as his arms come around my waist and pluck me off the bed. I wrap my good leg around him, keep the recovering one as straight as I can because it still hurts a bit to bend. I wrap my arms around his neck, and as he walks us to the bathroom, I lean over and gently suck his earlobe into my mouth, eliciting the most adorable squeak from him. He seats me on the edge of the tub as we shed our clothes. 

He steps into the tub and helps me in. He settles with his back against the tub and gently helps me get situated in front of him. He’s deliciously naked behind me. I close my eyes and sigh as I lean back into him. His hands waist no time starting their exploration. Between the jets of the tub and his magical fingers, it’s all I can do not to bust out of my skin in a burst of stars. I mean, I feel that good right now. 

“No fair.” I groan. “You get nothing out of this.” 

“I beg to differ.” he whispers against my neck. 

“What do you get?” I pout. 

“I get you.” 

Silly, silly man. 

TBC


	17. Moments

~DONNA’S POV~ 

I’m standing before the President’s desk in the Oval and he’s standing behind it. We’ve been chatting aimlessly now for about five minutes. This has become sort of a morning ritual, he and I. So far, I’ve beaten him to the office every single day. This is because I have the White House operator call me the second she hangs up on his wake up call. 

This displeases Josh to no end because sometimes I’m here as early as 6 a.m. And, of course, I never did that with him. But when I worked with him, I was in the office between 7 and 7:30 in the morning, beating him in nearly ever day, so he should shut up about it. But in Josh’s mind, if I’M here that early, he’s really got no excuse not to be either, since, well, the phone wakes him up, too. 

So the President and I usually spend the first five to ten minutes of the day idly chatting about whatever, interesting things we saw in the paper, family updates, making fun of Josh, whatever comes to mind. It’s candid and probably my favorite part of the job. I can get the opinion first hand of the President of the United States on any given subject. 

It’s pretty amazing. 

After the five or ten minutes, the conversation turns to the day’s schedule and the Presidential bitching begins. It usually takes another 15 minutes to get through the schedule because inevitably, comments about a person he’s meeting with, facts on a subject he’s meeting on, lead us astray. You can see why I have to beat him into the office, right? This man is easily sidetracked. I don’t know if he’s always been like this, or it’s just been since I’ve started working for him. 

Today’s different though. Something’s off. He’s chatting, but not as much as he normally is. He seems to be listening to me more than speaking. 

Now, I’m not totally naive here. The man is the leader of the free world, and so I’d imagine there were days when he had a lot on his mind. But that kind of stuff doesn’t seem to get to him. I mean, maybe it does, but it doesn’t seem to. You know? 

I’m going through his schedule when I see it. Thank God I chose that moment to glance up. I can see when he puts his glasses on that his left hand is shaking like a leaf. I stamp down the immediate question of “Sir, are you okay?” It’s just a shaking hand after all. He’s engaging in the conversation. He’s not as engaged as he normally is, but I would imagine that whatever’s going on with him is currently distracting him a bit. Though he does look a little pale. 

I suddenly remember that the First Lady is in New York City. She would have NEVER let him down here today if she saw that. This is quite the pickle I’m in here. 

The argument in my head is getting dire now, but God himself must have taken pity on me because the door to Josh’s office opens and he walks in. 

“Joshua!” the President greets, reading the contents of a folder in his hand, that I did not give him. 

“Good morning, sir. Sleep well?” Josh asks. 

“My wife’s in New York. No.” the President replies. 

Okay. Well a cranky President isn’t going to react well to a barrage of questions about his health today then. The President keeps his attention on the document in front of him, but he doesn’t seem to be reading it. Honestly? I think he’s taking a little inventory of his body at the moment and doing the math in his head on when the First Lady gets back. 

Doesn’t matter. I stare at Josh until he looks over at me. Over the years, Josh and I have perfected having the silent conversation, communicating with our eyes. It’s freakish, I know. But let me tell you how handy it’s about to come in. I subtly shake my left hand and give a small nod in the President’s direction, who chooses that moment to adjust his glasses on his face. Josh’s eyes widen slightly. He’s seen it. He looks at me and nods towards the door. 

“Sir, is there anything else you need?” I ask. 

“That’s all for now, Donna. Thank you.” he says. Josh and I hold each other’s gaze for a moment and I leave the Oval. As soon as I’m at my desk I call CJ and Toby to Josh’s office, and grab my copy of the President’s official schedule. Debbie’s on the phone, so I don’t say anything to her just yet. 

I’m getting around pretty good without the crutches now, though I’m still limping. But with the adrenaline currently flowing through me, I don’t feel the ache in my leg. I make it to Josh’s office and CJ and Toby are close behind. 

“What’s up?” CJ asks. 

“I don’t know.” I say quickly. “Maybe nothing.” 

“Donna?” Toby asks quietly. 

“Just wait for Josh to come out.” I reply. “He’s in with the President.” 

It’s another couple of minutes before Josh comes in. He quickly closes all the doors and turns to me. 

“Tell me everything you saw.” He says quickly. 

“Same thing you did.” I shrug. 

“Just his hand?” he asks. 

“He looks pale, too.” 

“Guys, what’s going on?” CJ asks. 

“Hang on.” Josh replies and turns back to me. “How was he when you talked to him?” 

“Engaged in the conversation, but not as much as he usually is. He seemed a little preoccupied.” I say. 

“But he was carrying on the conversation normally? Speaking when something required a response?” Josh continues. 

“Yeah.” I nod. 

“That his schedule?” Josh asks nodding to the paper in my hand. I nod and hand it to him. 

“Oh my God.” Toby says. That Toby’s a quick one, I tell you. 

Josh looks up and holds his gaze for a moment. “Yeah.” Josh nods. 

“Yeah, what?” CJ demands. CJ doesn’t like to assume things, which is a good trait to have in her job. 

“I’m no expert,” Josh says. “But I’m pretty sure the President is heading towards an MS attack.” 

“Oh, shit.” CJ breathes sitting down. 

“All right.” Josh says letting out a breath and looking at the President’s schedule. “I’ll take the 10:30 and the 1:30. You can change the meetings with the Secretary of State and Secretary of Defense to conference calls, he’ll want to keep those. Cancel everything else.” 

“Cancel it?” I ask again. 

“Yeah.” Josh nods. “And call Abby in New York. Speak directly to her, get her back here. By the time the President figures out what I’ve done, she’ll be back and he’ll be pissed at her. If Abby doesn’t walk through the door in three hours from the time you call her – you know what? Forget that last part. Have Millicent drop by for a visit. That way, anything that needs to be done before Abby gets here could already be being done. Pull up his schedule for the couple of days. Work with Margaret and clear my schedule and free up the Vice President. Toby can take some of the stuff that’s on my plate.” 

“It’s important, Donna, that you don’t show any signs of being flustered right now.” Toby says. 

“Have I ever before, Toby?” I snap at him. 

“If we’re wrong,” Toby says gently, “we’ll have one pissed off President. If we’re right and it gets around without our controlling it getting around, it will be worse.” 

“I know.” I say quickly, looking over at Josh. “I didn’t mean to snap.” 

“CJ,” Josh says, and as I look at him, it occurs to me that he may not have actually wanted her yet. Oh well, too late. Josh and CJ look at each other for a long moment. 

“I’ll look into the changes in the President’s schedule. Could be a hundred reasons it’s changed so much, happens all the time...” CJ says. 

“Fine.” Josh nods and CJ leaves the office. After another look with Toby, Toby leaves the office. 

The look I get is entirely different. 

“You’re doing fine.” I smile lightly. 

He doesn’t look any less burdened though. “Can you think of anything else at all that I --” he starts. 

“No.” I say quickly. “This is a good way to start. I think if we do this under the radar, it’ll be best. We probably shouldn’t agitate him.” 

“He’s the President of the United States. How’s he going to get through the day without getting agitated?” 

Good point. 

“He doesn’t have to get through the day; he has to get through Abby’s return.” 

Good point. 

He glances around the office. He’s wishing Leo were here dealing with this instead of him. 

“You should call him.” I say quietly and Josh looks back to me. “If for no other reason, so he can assure you you’re doing everything he would.” He nods to me and I head towards the door to fulfill his instructions. 

“Hey Donna?” he calls softly. My reflexes when he uses this particular tone of voice are immediate and I turn back around. “Don’t be too far away from me today.” 

I cross to him and pull him into my arms and he hugs me tightly in return. 

“Am I ever?” 

TBC


	18. Moments

~JOSH’S POV~ 

“Well, you certainly moved quickly.” Abby Bartlet says to me entering my office. 

“I had to.” I reply. “I anticipated your coming back from New York and conquering all.” 

“Apparently, you and Donna work well together.” 

“We always have. How is he?” 

“Right now, he’s fine.” she replied. “He’s extremely annoyed at the coddling.” 

“He’s been working. I let him keep the really important stuff by conference call.” 

“Well, he’s under the impression that it’s ALL important stuff.” 

“So, he’s fine now. What’s the next 24 to 48 hours going to bring?” 

“I don’t know.” 

Well, aren’t I comforted by that thought. 

“What COULD it bring?” 

“Cognitive dysfunction, vision loss, temporary paralysis, pain, depression, impaired motor function.” She lists off. 

“Cognitive dysfunction could be very bad.” I reply. “If I need him to be the commander in chief, I can do that with everything else.” 

“He needs rest, Joshua. He can’t be --” 

“Abby, if something explodes, I can’t just pass it off to someone else.” I interrupt her, probably more forcefully than I should have. “If he’s got all his wits about him, he’s the President of the United States.” 

“Well, I’m going to have him sign the letter, just in case.” Abby says. And that leaves me speechless. But only for a moment. 

“I’m not invoking it until and unless his cognitive function is impaired.” I reply. I’m NOT putting Vice President Russell in the driver’s seat unless it’s ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY imperative. 

“Fine. But he can’t take any meetings.” 

“I’ve already canceled them.” 

Margaret buzzes me to tell me that Will Bailey is here. Nevermind I specifically requested the Vice President himself. Margaret shows Will in and I motion for Abby to stay. He greets us politely, but I don’t know how long he’s going to be polite because I’m booting him out of here. 

“Something I can do for you Will?” I ask. 

“You needed to see us?” 

“I needed to see the Vice President.” 

“I’m his chief of staff.” 

“I didn’t ask for his chief of staff.” I counter. “And I asked for the Vice President three hours ago.” 

“He was in Baltimore.” 

“Which by Vice Presidential motorcade is 50 minutes away; or if he took Marine 2, it’s about 20 minutes.” 

“Well, he’s in his office now trying to figure out why his schedule for the rest of the week has be cleared by the Chief of Staff’s office.” 

“Which could have been explained to him two hours ago.” 

“What’s going on?” Will asked. 

“Well, the Vice President was summoned to the White House immediately, so I’m sure nothing of national importance.” I shrug. 

“All right. What’s going on?” he repeats. 

“Nothing you have clearance to know at this time.” I shoot back. “Now, the Vice President can come here now on his own accord, or the secret service can pick him up and carry him. Take your pick.” 

“I’ll send him right over.” Will says slowly then leaves the office. I look back over at Abby and she starts laughing. 

“Did you have fun there, Josh?” 

“I did.” I smirk. 

“Leo’s going to be sad he missed that one.” 

“Not as much as Toby is.” 

“Send Bob up when you’re through with him.” Abby calls over her shoulder before disappearing back through the Oval. I watch the door she disappeared through for a moment. I smile as a vision of Donna appears in it. 

“Josh?” the vision asks. 

Oh shit! It was really her! Six weeks into the job, and I’m still not used to her randomly coming through that door. 

She walks in carrying three large binders and a stack of note cards. I’m instantly on my feet snatching them away from her. 

“What the hell are you doing?” I demand. Why can’t she get it through her head that I’m requiring her to take it easy forever? 

“I’m going to head up to the Residence to go over this stuff with the President. I was going to have to do it anyway. At least maybe he’ll feel like he’s doing something. I wanted to see if there was anything you needed me to bring.” 

“No. But you can’t go up there yet. The Vice President’s on his way over, then he’s going up there.” I reply. “That and there’s no way in hell you’re schleping that stuff across the building and up two flights of stairs.” 

“How else do you suggest I get it up there?” she counters. 

“Me!” I shoot back. Okay, that was kind of snappy. I know because she arches a ‘oh no you didn’t just take the tone with ME’ brow. 

“Sorry. The whole day kind of turned to shit.” 

“Yes, it did.” 

“The Vice President just rolled back into town and he sent Will.” 

“Oh, God.” Donna sighed. 

“It was quite the dinner theater.” 

“I bet it was.” she smiles softly for a minute I feel like things are going to be okay. “How long do you think until I can get up there then?” 

“I don’t know.” I shrug. “An hour maybe.” 

“Okay. I’m going to go to our places and grab some stuff for a few days.” 

I’m about to tell her that she can go to my place and do that, but she’s going home tonight. But then I remember my request of this morning for her not to be too far away. If I’m at the White House, her not is too far away. I’m being selfish, I know, but I need her to keep me focused. Just her being in my sphere centers me. So I nod my approval of her plan. She sits down in one of the chairs and looks over at me. 

“I’m scared, Josh.” she whispers. Well, at least one of us is afforded that luxury. 

“It’ll be over before you know it.” 

“Maybe.” she says softly. Before I can reply, Margaret tells me the Vice President is here. Donna stands up and disappears out through the Oval Office. I sigh and stand to greet the man I pray will not be commander in chief sometime in the next 48 hours. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

It’s been a while since I’ve experienced dead on my feet, but here I am and at least I’m sitting down. The President’s schedule is cleared. Mine...not so much. Toby and CJ have really hunkered down. How Toby is handling the job of Communications Direction AND Deputy Chief of Staff, I have no idea, but he appears to be two men today. 

CJ and Toby have seamlessly adjusted to the transition of me as Chief of Staff, as has Margaret. I guess they probably just always assumed in the back of their minds that this day might come. Me? I assumed Leo would be CoS forever. 

True to her word, Donna’s been close by. Earlier today, when I went up to the Residence to check on the President, he was sitting in the bed up against the pillows, and Donna was sitting down at the foot of the bed, stretched out, leaning up against the footboard. I nearly lost my shit. She said she protested, but the President thought she was uncomfortable sitting in the chair she was reading to him from, and he was tired of turning his head to look at her, so he literally ordered my girlfriend into bed with him. What exactly does someone say to that? Abby was flitting in and out and she was acting like it was the most normal thing in the world. Of course, as far as Abby is concerned, protocol can kiss her ass. 

Speaking of Abby... 

“Josh?” she asks coming from the Oval Office, and I’m on my feet. It’s possible I’m also swaying. It’s about two in the morning, and this has been a very LONG day. 

“Yes, ma’am?” 

“Go to sleep, Josh.” 

“I’ll sleep when we’re past this.” 

“That’s at least another 24 hours away. What if this one lasts a week?” 

I’ll quit and move to Canada, that’s what. 

“Thanks for trying, but I’m not going home.” 

“You don’t have to go home.” she says. “Donna’s already upstairs in the Pierce Bedroom. I know the President would probably disagree, out loud anyway, but I know he’d probably appreciate knowing you’re close by. Go upstairs; sleep for a couple of hours.” 

It’s hard to resist the invitation to join Donna in bed. So I nod to her and grab my jacket. Together we head through the Oval and out the portico to head to the Residence. 

“You really rose to the challenge today, Josh.” Abby notes. 

“You think so?” I reply. 

“At the very least, you anticipated that I was going to insist on clearing his schedule for a few days and pre-empted that.” she says. “Plus, you brought Millie in here to assess his condition totally on the sly. That was pretty brilliant.” 

“Well, I needed to know if I needed him in the situation room that I was actually going to have him. That’s my fear right now.” 

“I know.” 

“My biggest fear right now is that we’ll have to invoke the 25th, and the Middle East will explode and we’ll have a monkey in the driver’s seat.” 

“Not a fan of the Vice President’s?” 

“Not really, ma’am.” 

“He’s nice enough.” 

“That doesn’t make him a good commander in chief.” 

When we arrive at the Residence she points off to the Pierce Bedroom where Donna is. I gently close the door, and as I see her laying there, sleeping peacefully, I resist the urge to drop into bed with her fully dressed. She’d kicked my ass. I change quickly and slide under the covers next to her. She turns in my arms and places a kiss on my neck that sends a shock wave down to my toes. I think in my exhausted state of being, my nerve endings are peaked. Suddenly, there’s another one, and I drop my chin to meet her lips with mine. 

Her kiss recharges me, and I’m pulling her closer. When I pull away, she smiles at me and I think I melted into the bed, the hardships of the day falling away under her gentle touch. So many years I waited for just this moment. This moment when the stress of working in the White House would get to me the worse, and she’d be there at the end of the long day to take it away with her kiss and her intimate touch instead of the soft encouraging smile she could only give me before that would promise of this moment someday. 

She brings her hand up to run through my hair. I love when she does this. I actually don’t remember any other woman doing something like this. Amy wasn’t really the comforting kind of girlfriend. She was understanding, but she wasn’t nurturing like Donna, and Mandy was...scary. 

But Donna knows what to do. Even when I was with Amy, Donna knew how to comfort me, though this way is SO much better. 

“I was so proud of you today, Josh.” she says. I can’t help it. I grin like an idiot. I just love coming through for her. It’s so rewarding. My heart shakes off the cobwebs and it starts to beat again. 

“Thanks.” I say softly back. “I hope I can do it again tomorrow.” 

“You can.” she nods. 

Now do you see why I needed her near me all day? I pull her as close to me as I absolutely get her and nuzzle down into her. If I’m lucky, I’ll get lost in her and be a better man when I finally find my way out...in a few hours. 

TBC


	19. Moments

DONNA’S POV 

I drop down onto the couch next to Josh with an unladylike yawn, which garners an arched brow from Toby and a smirk from CJ. Rather than take advantage of the cabin provided for the chief of staff’s use on Air Force One, we’re in the senior staff’s cabin with Toby and CJ. Well, technically speaking, I’m not supposed to be in that cabin. Yeah, I can “share a bed” with the President of the United States, but I can’t hang out in the chief of staff’s cabin. That’s probably why Josh is back here with us. It’s a six hour flight to England and it’s also a night flight. The President and his obsession with late night flights...on the other hand, I’m not required to do anything. 

Josh is, as he pretty much always is nowadays, reading. He’s always got his nose stuck in something. I’ve got no idea what he’s always reading. I mean, of course I’ve got some idea, but most of it’s classified. I would imagine that this particular thing isn’t if he’s reading it back by us. 

I also don’t think Josh is all that comfortable being constantly separated from the staff. Toby and CJ are his friends and he talks over a lot with Toby. Plus, there’s still not a deputy CoS. At the moment, we’re down a deputy CoS and deputy Communications Director. You can imagine how incredibly stressed Toby is now, right? 

I nudge at Josh’s arm and he lifts it up, without breaking his concentration, and I drop my head into his lap, pulling a blanket over me. First, his hand settles on my shoulder, but then it moves to stroking my hair. I much prefer this second choice. I briefly catch a glimpse of CJ before closing my eyes. She’s studying us again. I catch her doing that a lot, whether she knows I do or not. I can’t quite read her expression. Sometimes it seems wistful, and sometimes it seems almost as if she can’t believe we’re acting like this; that we’re actually allowing others to see how we feel. But if I actually break down and admit it, I think it’s that she can’t believe she’s witnessing Josh show how he feels. He, of course, told me about their conversation when he got back from Germany. But when CJ sought me out to apologize in person, she said pretty much the same thing to me that she had said to him. 

I’ve since let the subject just drop, because the last thing Josh needs while he’s down two senior staffers is strife among his friends, but I’m still actually annoyed about it. It’ll probably just be one of those things that always pisses me off. I mean, really, why should he have shown them how he feels and has felt about me? What the hell business is it of theirs? It’s not as if anything was going on...mostly; sometimes there were minor steps across the line. But if he HAD let his guard down around them and they saw it, they would have accused him of being unprofessional. I guess it was a lose/lose situation for him. For me, it seems like it was six years of poor deluded Donna and her unrequited love for Josh. 

Well, who’s laughing now? 

Or should I say who’s have mind-blowing sex now? 

Yes, that would be me, my friends. Once my doctors cleared me, well...amazingness followed, and continues to follow... a lot. 

I have to admit, in all my dreams, I never really thought of Josh as the overly considerate, you first, giving kind of lover that he is. I mean, I figured he’d be passionate...but, well, damn. He’s always different, but always amazing. 

Those are, of course, moments that no one else sees, and moments I’m not inclined to share about. Not all of him gets to be girl talk for the Sisterhood over lunch. 

He closed the folder he was reading and squints his eyes shut. “I can’t read anymore. I think I might go blind.” he complains rubbing his closed eyes. 

“Go put it away.” I say sitting up so he can stand up. “You should sleep anyway.” 

Without a word to anyone, he leaves the cabin to return the folder to, I’m assuming, his assigned cabin. I stretch out again on the couch. There are two more couches in this cabin that I’m sure Toby and CJ will eventually take advantage of. We’re only an hour into a six hour flight. When Josh returns, he stretches out with me on the couch, and I throw the blanket over us. I don’t know what he’s been reading, but he’s been nearly silent the entire trip. CJ looks like she’s going to engage him in a conversation, but I intervene. 

“I’m really excited about this trip.” I say to him. The President had fully recovered from his MS attack of a few weeks ago. Thankfully, short of the shaking, fatigue and some muscle dysfunction, it never really materialized into something horrible. This is going to be a busy week for us. We’re in England tomorrow and LA at the end of the week. I’m really excited about the LA trip. We’re going to meet up with Sam. 

“I know you are.” he says, and though I’m not looking at him, I can hear the smile in his voice. “You’ve been prattling about it for weeks.” 

“I’m sorry. I’ve been prattling?” 

“I mean that in a good way.” 

“There’s a good way to say I talk too much?” 

“Yeah, that was it.” 

“I’m not sure how to take that.” 

“I like it.” he says. 

“What?” 

“That you talk a lot. I’ve always liked it.” 

“Always?” 

“Yup. Well, once I got used to it. I mean, it was a bit of shock when we first met.” 

“Once you got used to it?” 

“Yeah.” 

“You mean once you stopped paying attention?” 

“Don’t you think I would have said that if that’s what I meant?” 

You know, I think he would have. Either out of the fact that Josh sticks his foot in his mouth; or that he loves to get a rise out of me, he probably would have said that. 

“Hmm.” I say skeptically. 

“Donna, conversations with you are ALWAYS interesting. You have never bored me with the things you’ve talked about. It’s always something, like, totally nutty and out of left field. I seriously never know at any given time what you’re going to choose to talk about.” 

“Really?” 

“It’s one of the things that makes you an enigma to me.” 

“An enigma?” CJ asks. She seems amused. 

“Yes.” Josh says simply. 

“Six years and you haven’t gotten Donna figured out?” CJ teases. 

“Not entirely, no.” he says. He’s got his eyes closed now and his hand drifts lazily to my breast under the blanket. This is why I employed the use of this blanket. When Josh gets tired, his hands wander, which is just fine with me, but we are on Air Force One. “And I like it that way.” 

Josh whines a bit as I turn on the couch to face him. “My leg’s not comfortable.” I mumble by way of explanation. 

CJ seems to have dropped the conversation. I take this time to study Josh’s face, while he’s got his eyes closed. I’m suddenly very happy there’s only about a year left to this job. He looks older. A lot’s happened in the last year though, both personally and professionally. I thought he looked tired before he took this job. That was nothing apparently. 

I run my finger softly down his cheek and he doesn’t so much as flinch. He’s asleep now. I wonder if it’s possible that he’ll sleep the rest of the flight. Probably not, but he looks peaceful now. 

I love watching him sleeping. I’ve always loved watching him sleep. It’s the only time he’s actually still. I used to watch him sleep for hours when he was recovering from the shooting. I’d watch him fight for strength and fight the demons in his dreams. I turn away from him and eventually drift off to sleep. 

I’m awoken a few hours later by Josh’s lips lightly kissing my neck, and his hands have gone exploring. The cabin is nearly totally dark and CJ and Toby are stretched out sleeping on the couches on the other side of the cabin. It’s a good thing that I wore a skirt today, since Josh has been afforded pretty easy access. My protest dies on my lips. Surely, he can’t be thinking THAT, right? I mean, we’re on Air Force One. CJ and Toby are sleeping, like, 10 feet away. 

But on the other hand, we’re on Air Force One. This is a story to tell our friends in 10 years. 

The answer to my question becomes apparent as he slides my underwear down my legs. I reach back to help him with his pants, but he brushes my hands away. 

“Sshh...” he whispers against my ear as his fingers slide into me and I gasp. “We need a practice run first. You can’t scream my name here.” 

“I never scream your name.” I hiss. 

“You ALWAYS scream my name.” he counters. Okay. So I do. I was just checking to see if anyone could hear us. The faster his fingers move, the faster my breathing comes. This should come as no surprise to you, but Josh can read me well when we’re like this, too. He senses the exact moment my orgasm is about to hit, pulls my face back to him and kisses me, and the sounds die in my throat. 

Just as I think that’s the end of the fun, Josh slips into me from behind. Apparently, he found an opportune time to take care of his pants. 

And apparently, we’re joining the mile high club. 

On Air Force One. 

With Toby and CJ sleeping 10 feet away. 

I am SO turned on right now! I turn my head back to him again and kiss him as we move. This is a totally awkward position, but it feels amazing. We’re consistently tossing one eye over to CJ and Toby to make sure we don’t wake them up. Josh and I finish at the same time. He tenses behind me, breaks the kiss, and buries his head in my shoulder. When I feel him relax again, I turn in his arms to face him. 

“I’ve always wanted to do that.” he chuckles softly. 

“Me too.” I smile back and he runs his thumb back and forth on my cheek. 

“Hey, Josh? Do you want to get married?” I ask. Holy shit! Where did that come from? Oh God, he’s going to have a meltdown. I can’t BELIEVE I just said that to him! 

“Yes.” he says instead. 

“Yes?” Well, I’m surprised. I thought he was going to freak, but he nods instead. “You realize I’m asking you to marry me?” Another nod. “You didn’t want to do the asking?” 

“I didn’t know I had a choice.” 

“Apparently, you do.” 

His hand finds mine under the blanket, and he kisses me, and kisses me, and kisses me. 

“Do you want to have a baby?” I ask. 

His eyebrows shoot up. “Before we’re out of the White House?” 

“No.” I say. “Probably not. If we got married first, a baby would be born after we were out of the White House.” He seems to calm down at that. 

“It’s just, you know, I want to be there for it.” And that makes me smile. He’s so damn sweet sometimes. 

“Kay. After we’re out of office then.” I say. We’re smiling at each other with goofy grins when Toby stirs and mumbles, bringing us back to Earth...er...Air Force One. We quickly put our clothes to rights and I curl back into him. The last thing I feel are his lips on my forehead before I drift off to sleep. 

TBC


	20. Moments

~JOSH’S POV~ 

When the President of the United States is invited to England on an official state visit, there is a massive amount of pomp and circumstance involved. First of all, being invited here for an official state visit is the most formal way of recognizing a foreign head of state. Only one President in our history has been invited here for an official state visit. Woodrow Wilson and Ronald Reagan both made visits here, but they were official guests of the Queen. We’ve been invited by Parliament. 

This is a big deal. 

Well, it’s a big deal when you’re invited by the Queen, too, but if you’re invited by the Queen, you’re not really expected to make speeches and actually, you know, address Parliament. 

There’s dinners, there’s speeches, there’s meetings with the Prime Minister, meetings with the Foreign Minister, an audience with the Queen, a reception, opening remarks when we landed. There’s a gift giving ceremony, numerous photo sessions. Sooner or later, these heads of state actually get to, you know, speak with one another. 

The gift giving ceremony was this morning. Well, the one with the Queen anyway. I have no idea what we gave the Queen and the Prince. We, well, the President, was given a box and the First Lady got a clock. Now, I’m sure they’re expensive. They certainly looked it as they briefly passed through my hands and I shoved them at Donna, who discreetly, and probably with much more charm, motioned for the gifts officer. Donna’s had the Deputy Chief of Protocol hovering on the outskirts of our party, as well. She told me I wanted him close by, just in case the President wanted to know how to formally invite Prince Charles to join him in a game of basketball, I suppose. 

We’re now on the receiving line for the official state dinner, or their equivalent of a state dinner if it’s not called that, or maybe it’s the dinner with the Queen, which I think all the same people are invited to as the official state dinner...or whatever it’s called (see why Donna insists on the Deputy Chief of Protocol being near?). Donna’s whispering names in my ear of approaching dignitaries, and I, in turn, am whispering them to the President. This is what Donna does for him when we’re at home, but since we’re here, I have to stand next to him, so she’s telling me. She spent hours memorizing names and faces. 

Let me take this moment to try to convey to you just how beautiful Donna looks right now. When I say she took my breath away, that’s an understatement. When she and CJ found out about this trip and all the pomp and circumstance and formality surrounding it, quite frankly, they freaked. These are two women who have attended dinners honoring foreign heads of state. These are women who are used to formal dinners. 

Neither one of these women have ever met royalty in a formal setting such as this. I haven’t either. But whether I’m in England or the United States, all I have to do is put on a tux. 

So, Donna and CJ go shopping. They’re wearing gowns by Oscar de la Renta. Donna’s is this ice blue, and CJ’s is like a bronze color. They both have those haltertop straps and they’re both satin that just sort fall down around them. It’s incredibly sexy. Don’t even ask me how I’m going to get Donna’s hair down later. She said there’s 46 bobby pins, whatever they are, in there. I can’t see a single one. I’m surprised she hasn’t set off a metal detector. CJ likewise has what looks to be a very complicated hair style. In short, the two of them look amazingly hot. 

At dinner, the President and First Lady are seated with the Queen and Prince Phillip, Prince Charles and What’s Her Name and Princes William and Harry with their guests. Donna and I are at the table with the Prime Minister and his wife, CJ and Toby, Lord John Marbury and whatever tart he pulled out of an alley (I shouldn’t say that, I think she’s actually a countess) and the Foreign Minister and his wife. 

When the receiving line is FINALLY over and the grand entrances are made and we’re finally allowed to sit down, Donna and CJ peruse the menu. 

“Chardonnay?” I hear Donna whisper to CJ. “I HATE Chardonnay.” 

“I’m sure it’s good stuff though.” CJ murmurs back. 

“I’m sure it is, too, but it’s still Chardonnay.” 

“Saddle of Spring Lamb Chanterelle Sauce Fricassee of Baby Vegetables.” CJ continues. 

“How the HELL did you read that with all those swirlies on the letters?” 

I should probably kick them under the table or something to shut them up, but Toby engaged the Ministers in conversation, and Lord John’s not going to care, since I believe he’s tanked already. But, quite frankly, they’re back to their conspiring ways, so as long as no one is paying attention to them and they’re being quiet, who cares? 

“Do you think this flatware is Vermeil?” Donna asks CJ gingerly fingering her salad fork. 

“I don’t know.” CJ says. “But do you think it would outrageous, if I asked Prince William to dance?” 

“Considering he’s young enough to be your son?” Donna counters. 

“Well, you didn’t have to go there.” CJ mumbles in return. 

“Claudia and Donnatella,” Lord John interrupts. They both look up at him and smile. Donna thinks he’s dreamy; CJ thinks he’s charming and eccentric. If anybody cares, I think he’s a crackpot. 

“Yes, Your Lordship?” CJ smiles. 

“Allow me to compliment you both on how exquisite you both look this evening.” 

“Thank you, Your Lordship.” Donna practically giggles. 

“That includes your breasts.” Lord John says. The Ministers roll their eyes, as I nearly choke on my wine. 

“Your Lordship,” Toby says. “Surely you’ve been schooled in protocol and know that it might be considered by some to be rude to compliment a woman’s, um, assets, in front of their men.” 

“Their men?” Lord John asks. “Well, I know that the new Gerald here has finally come to his senses, but I didn’t know that you had, as well, Toby.” 

Okay. Well, that was funny. 

“Princepessa,” Lord John continues to CJ, laying it on a little thick. “I do hope you’ll save me a dance.” 

“Of course, Your Lordship.” Now CJ’s giggling. 

“And, Josh,” he turns to me. If he asks me to dance, I think I’ll pass out. “I hope you’ll allow me a dance with the beautiful Donnatella. It pleases me to no end that she’s with us tonight.” His meaning is not lost on any of us. 

“Much as I’d like to grant you my permission,” I reply trying to keep the emotion out of my voice, “I think Donna might knock me out later if I don’t inform you that you certainly don’t need MY permission, you need hers.” 

“And I would be very honored.” she smiles to him. 

Dinner is served and I try not to whine at the amount of vegetables that are being served. All the men have been discussing various issues of the world while the women look bored to tears. The Ministers’ wives are sharing stories of their children. CJ and Donna look like they’re going to stab their eyes out with the Vermeil. This really isn’t their cup of tea. They’re pleasant and smiling, but it’s their fake smiles. When the dancing begins, I immediately rescue Donna (well, after the protocol crap). 

“He’s a crackpot, but he’s right about your breasts looking exquisite.” I smile to Donna as we’re gliding around the dance floor. It’s a Viennese waltz. 

“I can’t BELIEVE we’re staying at Buckingham Palace!” she gushes. The entire American delegation isn’t staying here. Just the President and First Lady, Me and Donna, and CJ and Toby. Everyone else is at The Ritz. 

“This is going to be a big trip for us.” I reply. 

“I know!” she smiles, but I think she’s still talking about the grandeur of the whole thing. 

“Sex on Air Force One AND Buckingham Palace.” I nod. 

“Of course, there’s the engagement bit, too.” she replies. 

“Yes.” I agree, and I give her a quick kiss on the dance floor. “And I bet I could swing an hour in the morning for a quick trip to Harrod’s.” 

Her eyes go wide. 

“For a ring?” she gasps. 

“No. I was thinking for a money clip.” I snark. “Of course for a ring! You didn’t think you were going to get a ring?” 

“Well, I asked you.” she shrugs, which immediately draws my attention to her sexy bare shoulder. I can’t wait to kiss that later. 

“Well, if you don’t want one...” I shrug, going for blase. 

“Joshua, don’t be a jackass.” she says quickly. 

“Is there a secret behind why you seem to shimmer tonight?” I ask. 

“I shimmer?” 

I nod. She does. You know what water’s reflection looks like at night? That’s what Donna looks like right now. 

“There is a secret, actually.” she smiles. 

“I don’t want to know it.” I say. “I prefer to think I make you do that.” 

“You do.” 

It’s nearly two in the morning by the time we get to our room in the palace, or chambers, I think is the actual term. Poor Donna is limping around. Half-way through the night, Lord John began plying her with wine to celebrate her ability to dance and I think hide the pain it was causing. She passes out face first into her pillow. Looks like sex in Buckingham Palace will have to wait until tomorrow night. I’m just about to join her when I remember all those metal things she has in her hair. Half an hour later, I’m a little wary when I’ve only found 38 of them. She’ll just have to fish out the rest of them tomorrow. 

TBC


	21. Moments

~JOSH’S POV~ 

This is the week that never ends. It just goes on and on and on. Wait...isn’t that a song? Nevermind. My brain’s fried. 

There are three good things that came out of this week: sex with Donna on Air Force one; sex with Donna in Buckingham Palace; Donna and I got engaged. Maybe not necessarily in that order. 

Donna asked me to marry her. How freaking cool is that, I ask you? Now, you know that I was going to ask her. I was going to ask her, like, months ago. 

Little tip for you folks. If you don’t live in England, I suggest not buying an engagement ring at Harrod’s. I got KILLED in the exchange rate. 

Anyway... 

So, we’re in England for three days. Things go very well. We were well received. I’m not going to tell you there weren’t any protestors, because there were, there always are when we go overseas and CNN, of course, always finds them, but it was still a very successful trip. It’s tough to tell what actually got accomplished once you sift through all the drinking, dancing, and eating, but I’m sure someone will put it into a memo for me. 

So we’re in DC for a day before we’re back on Air Force One for a fundraiser in LA. No one will fess up on who’s bright idea it was to schedule something in California two days after we’re in England. I think the reason no one will cop to it is because it’s pretty well known now that I will fire whoever that person is. 

Think of England, think of California, think of where DC is. Now think of these two words: 

Time zones. 

See why I’m so pissed off? I try and figure it out in my head, but seeing as how I’ve been in all these time zones in the span of five days, this simple math is eluding me right now. 

Donna and I are currently in the hotel’s patio restaurant the morning after we arrived. It’s a Saturday and the fundraiser is at night. The President and First Lady are off doing stuff with Zoey. There’s an itinerary somewhere, and Donna probably knows it, but I’m too tired to be able to read it anyway. Donna...well, Donna looks downright funny right now. Her hair is wet, she’s got her sunglasses on, and she’s holding a big cup from Starbucks. Nevermind this restaurant serves coffee, they don’t serve BIG ENOUGH coffee. All she needs is a lit cigarette dangling from her fingers and she’ll be THAT girl. 

CJ and Toby roll in looking pretty much the way we do. They went to Starbucks, too. I fold up the paper I was attempting to read when they get to the table. 

“Anything good?” Toby asks gesturing to the folded paper. 

“I have no idea. I literally can’t focus my eyes on the small print.” I reply. Toby takes the paper. I was just thinking that Donna may have fallen asleep behind her sunglasses when I hear, 

“Well, would you look at what the cat dragged in. You people run the country?” 

“Sam!!” CJ and Donna shriek. Donna’s faster than lightning out of her chair and hugging him. At first, I’m thinking that this hug is lasting so long because they haven’t actually seen each other in a while. Then I remember it’s because Sam hasn’t seen her since Gaza like the rest of us. So now I’m tired AND melancholy. When they finally break apart, I see Donna brush a finger underneath her sunglasses and Sam looks decidedly moved, as well. Donna sits back down next to me and I squeeze her hand. When CJ breaks away from Sam, I stand up and give him a quick hug. Toby, however, settles for a gruff remark. But that seems to be fine for Sam. 

“So, things look like they went well in England.” Sam notes sitting down at the table and ordering coffee. 

“Things went VERY well in England.” CJ announces grabbing Donna’s hand and shoving it in Sam’s face. 

“Good Lord!” Sam calls out when he sees the ring. I wonder what he’d say if he saw the exchange rate on that sucker. Of course, another round of hugs follows and Sam spends the next few minutes shooting weird Sam smiles at me. 

“How’s work, Sam?” Toby asks changing the subject, thank God. 

“All right.” Sam shrugs. “Corporate law is much less exciting than the White House.” 

“Do you miss it, Sam?” CJ asks. 

“I miss you guys.” Sam replies. 

“You should come back and be my deputy then.” It’s out of my mouth before I even think about it. But, of course, it’s the only answer. Silence reigns at the table as all eyes turn to Sam, who laughs. 

“Deputy Chief of Staff?” he replies. “You want me to pick up and move back to Washington?” 

“Yeah.” I nod. 

“It’s only a little over a year left.” CJ says. “You can take a leave from your job, right?” 

“Or just get another one after the term’s out.” Toby says quietly. I KNEW Toby missed Sam! He’d never admit it... “Deputy Chief of Staff certainly looks good on a resume.” 

“So does Deputy Communications Director.” Sam pipes in. 

“Josh really needs you Sam.” Donna adds. Looks like everyone’s on board with that decision, then. Sam looks thoughtful for a minute. 

“I don’t know.” he says. “I’m seeing someone.” 

“How serious is it?” CJ asks. 

“Pretty serious.” Sam replies. 

“If it’s the real thing, she’ll wait for you, Sam.” CJ retorts. 

“I don’t know. That’s asking a lot.” Sam says. 

Then Donna swoops in with the ringer to that argument. “When it’s the real thing, you wait, Sam. If she can’t wait one measly year, you weren’t meant to be.” She’s so definitive in her statement that there’s actually a moment of silence around the table. 

“I don’t know.” Sam says after a minute. “I have to think about it.” 

“He doesn’t want to do it.” Toby says going back to his newspaper. 

“I didn’t say that.” Sam defends. 

“If you wanted to do it, you’d have said yes already. You must’ve thought about returning to the White House after the election, you knew we were holding a job for you. If you wanted to come back, you would have said yes already.” 

“You guys are ganging up on me.” Sam says to Toby. “You’ve all had this planned out. I’m just getting this.” 

“Nothing was planned out.” CJ assures him. “We didn’t think of this until Josh opened his big mouth two minutes ago.” 

“Josh,” Donna says to me. “Put him in a room with the President tonight.” 

“Don’t waste the President’s time.” Toby says from behind his newspaper. I can’t decide if Toby’s still bitter about Sam leaving in the first place, or if he’s just trying to give Sam a hard time for old time’s sake. 

Sam pulls the newspaper down from in front of Toby’s face. “You won’t outrank me anymore.” Donna and CJ look a little hopeful now. 

“You’ll outrank CJ, that’s good enough.” Toby replies. Sam looks over at CJ and she shrugs. Nobody REALLY outranks CJ in the end. I mean, we’ll all get in her face, but... 

“I’ll think about it.” Sam says again, but this time, his voice is a little more positive. CJ and Donna pick up their menus. “What’s the after breakfast plan?” 

“Oh, Josh and I are going back to our room.” Donna says. What? We are? I thought she and CJ had plans for CJ to show Donna her house that she has here. CJ looks a little surprised, too. 

“Still celebrating?” Sam smiled. 

“No.” she says. “Well, yes. But, it’s going to be a late night and Josh has been pretty tired, so I was going to try to get him to try to sleep for a while again.” What the? Oh, I see. Sam’s looking at me a little thoughtfully now, so I stifle a yawn. Thank God I have sunglasses on and my eyes don’t give anything away. I mean, I AM tired. That’s not a lie. Toby, CJ, and I have been covering the open senior staff jobs. It seriously is getting pretty draining. Sam seems to be studying all three of us a little more closely now. Well played, Donna. Maybe there’s four good things to come out of this week. 

We make it through breakfast and the subject of Sam coming back to the White House doesn’t come up again. But he’ll be at the fundraiser tonight, so I’m thinking he’ll be talking to the President. Well, the President will want to see him regardless. 

Imagine my surprise when, once breakfast is finished, Donna starts dragging me towards the elevators. 

“What the hell’s going on?” 

“We’re going back to our room.” 

“You really have to go through all this for Sam?” I ask. 

“No. Once it came out of my mouth, I realized it was true.” 

“I’m not tired.” 

“You’re exhausted.” 

“Yeah, but I don’t know if I can actually sleep right now.” I reply. This is true. I’ve never really been a napper, with the exception of when I was recovering from a gunshot wound. 

“You’ll sleep.” she says confidently, dragging me into the elevator with my secret service agent. 

Okay. Am I, like, totally being a guy here? Am I wrong to think there’s sex in this for me? I mean, she’s dragging me back up to my hotel room promising me I’ll sleep. There’s only one way to tire me out, right? 

Apparently, there’s two. 

And no, she didn’t actually drug me. At least not with something approved by the FDA. 

We’re barely through the door when she says, “On the bed.” 

Whoo-hoo! Yes, ma’am! 

“On your stomach.” she orders. 

What? 

“All the way on the edge and take your shirt and pants off.” 

Um, I’m a little too tired for anything kinky. I don’t know if I said that out loud or my face just looks like that because she says, “I’m going to give you a massage.” 

Bonus! I’m out of my shirt and pants in no time flat. 

Donna tells me I usually get the Swedish massage. I can’t tell the difference. All I know is she’s got those oils out and she’s rubbing her hands all over my body and things are good in my world. It’s been years since I got one of these. She pays special attention to my back, right leg and right arm where years later, there’s still stiffness. 

I’m sure she did a thorough job, anything less would be un-Donna-like. But I fall asleep relatively early into it. I wake up several hours later, tangled up in Donna. We’re on our sides facing each other and her head as is wedged under my chin. I pull back a little to look at her. My body feels relaxed for the first time in probably years. That’s twice in one week that I was reminded of how close I came to losing her. I wrap my arms around her and hug her just a little tighter. 

TBC


	22. Moments

~DONNA’S POV~ 

“So you got Sam then?” I say to Josh. We’re in his office eating lunch. I brought two salads, but he’d already circumvented my efforts and got a burnt burger. He tried to tell me that the additional iron will give him more energy. I’m going to look that up later, because it’s possible that’s actually legit there. That makes me nervous. 

“Yeah. He’ll be back out here in two weeks.” Josh says grinning. Josh and Sam, together again. Let the sophomoric games begin. 

“And the girlfriend?” 

“Apparently not the real thing.” he says after a moment. I pause for a second and take that in. Poor Sam. Another failed relationship because of his incessant need to fight the good fight. A need, which by the way, works out well for us. 

“Well, I guess it’s better he find out now rather than later.” It’s all I can muster. I mean, I played quite the role in convincing him to come back. 

“Josh,” Margaret says coming in her open door. “Ainsley Hayes is here to see you. She doesn’t have an appointment.” 

“Maybe she’s flying under the radar.” I suggest. 

“I’m not sure I have enough food in here for Ainsley Hayes.” He says loudly so his voice will carry out to Margaret’s office. 

“You’re eating lunch?” Ainsley asks popping her head in. I pick up Josh’s salad and hold it above my head. It’s immediately snatched out of my hand. She sits down with us on the couch, pops it open and dives in. We haven’t seen her in ages, but she obviously hasn’t changed at all. 

“Donna thinks you’re flying under the radar.” Josh says getting right to the point. 

“I’m not.” she says swallowing a mouthful of food. 

“I know I’ve pissed off your people recently.” Josh says. 

“By my people do you mean, Republicans, women, or southerners?” she counters. 

“Well, shit, take your pick then.” Josh replies. 

“No, I can’t say that I’m here about that, as such.” she says. I’ve missed her strange speaking pattern. 

“So you’re not here to tip me off about something?” 

“Do I look like Deep Throat to you?” she counters. 

“I don’t know. Nobody knows who that guy is.” 

“Everyone knows who that guy is. It was in the papers a few years ago.” 

“Stop the insanity!” I yelp jumping in. They both look at me before they return to their food. “How have you been, Ainsley?” 

“Okay.” 

“How’s your job?” I ask. She went to some think tank somewhere I think. 

“It sucks actually.” she says pointedly looking up at Josh. 

“So get a new one.” he shrugs. 

“That’s what I’m trying to do.” she replies. “I hear you’re in need of a new Deputy White House Counsel.” Josh and I pause and look at her. Well, this could definitely be fun. Ainsley was always fun to have around. Especially when she was fighting with...Sam. 

Oh Lord. 

“How’d you know that?” Josh asks tilting his head a bit. 

“We’re coming into the last year of the administration, people are starting to jump ship.” she shrugs. 

“You want to work for a democratic president during an election year?” Josh counters. Josh always liked Ainsley, but she is, after all, a republican. 

“I like working for the White House. In the counsel’s office, you represent the Office of the President of the United States. That’s bigger than the political party currently occupying it.” 

“Are you going to start singing?” Josh asks skeptically. 

“Will it help?” she shoots back. 

“It might.” he shrugs. 

“He is an English Man?” 

“I’m partial to that myself.” Josh grins. We sit there in silence for a moment, each reflecting back to when things were a little easier in the White House. “You don’t need any help.” Josh says finally. “I know your resume. You’ll be fine over there.” 

Ainsley smiles at him, then over at me. 

“My only request is you stay way the hell away from the press in the building on anything election related.” Josh replies. 

“Of course.” she agrees, then she turns her attention to me. “You look really good, Donna. How are you feeling?” 

“I’m really well, thank you.” I smile. “Thank you for the card, and donation. That was wonderful.” Instead of sending me flowers after the CODEL bombing, Ainsley did something inherently classier; she made a donation to Cure Autism Now in my name. She was here during Senator Stackhouse’s filibuster and knows that the matter became sort of dear to my heart. 

“So, Ainsley.” Josh says moving away from a topic he absolutely abhors to discuss, the CODEL. “I didn’t get a wedding invitation in the past few years. So, I’m assuming you’re not married.” 

“Well, that would be true.” she laughs. “Though, now I’m thinking I should get married just to see how a Democratic Jewish boy from Connecticut, who is the White House Chief of Staff incidentally, would mix with my family.” 

“Incidentally, that won’t help with the job quest.” Josh pouts. 

“I thought the interview was over.” she says. 

“I changed my mind.” 

“How very democratic of you.” 

“Have you spoken to Sam recently?” I jump in. Ainsley looks a little flustered. 

“Sam Seaborne?” I nod my confirmation. “Not since I left the White House, no. I read that he left after the election. 

“He’s coming back as Deputy Chief of Staff.” I hedge. 

“Really?” she asks, her interest piqued. 

“Really.” I smile. 

“When can you start, Ainsley?” Josh asks. 

“Two weeks?” 

“Outstanding.” 

The small talk lasts a little longer before Josh tells her he has to get ready for his next meeting and he tells Ainsley he’ll have Margaret notify human resources. 

“What the hell was that?” he demands of me when Ainsley’s gone. 

“What was what?” 

“That Sam stuff.” 

“I thought that would be of interest to her.” 

“Why?” 

“Because they had the hots for each other.” 

“They did not.” he scoffs. 

“They fought all the time.” 

“She’s a republican!” 

“YOU didn’t fight with her all the time.” 

“I was too busy fighting with you.” 

“Yes.” 

“No.” 

“Yes.” 

“Really?” 

“Remember the whole ERA thing?” 

“No.” 

“The night before the Correspondence Dinner, it was our anniversary, I told you about that car accident I was in and why I left my ex-boyfriend...” I lead. Yes, ever since he explained his reasoning behind that anniversary, I’ve just come to terms with it. 

“No. I remember the other stuff.” he says softly, which, of course, makes me smile. 

“Well there was other stuff happening that night.” 

“Not for me there wasn’t.” 

“Don’t make me cry.” 

“Kay.” 

“Sam and Ainsley.” I say. 

“Sam and Ainsley.” 

“They were in denial.” 

“Weren’t we all.” 

“I wasn’t.” I shrug. “I knew.” 

“So did I.” 

“I figured.” 

“I didn’t want to be the first one to admit it.” 

“Of course not. That would make you an adult.” 

“Well, that was uncalled for.” he shoots back. “And I don’t remember YOU making any declarations.” 

“I made a declaration that night.” 

“And I made one back.” 

“Are we remembering the same conversation?” 

“No. I’m talking about the one after that.” 

“Why you send me flowers.” 

“Yes.” 

“Kay.” 

“That was big of me to disclose.” 

“Yes, it was.” I agree. “Not as big as the other thing.” 

“What other thing?” 

“When you actual said the words.” 

“Well...yes, that was big.” he says, as if he’s remembering that moment in Germany. “Do I say them enough? I don’t think I say them enough. Do I?” 

“You say them enough.” I smile. “Besides, if you didn’t, I still know.” 

“I don’t want you to ever have to wonder.” 

“Josh, I stopped wondering years ago.” 

TBC


	23. Moments

DONNA’S POV 

Okay. The important thing to do here is to not freak out. I take a deep calming breath and look at the stick again. Little blue line. 

Yeah, okay. That means what I think it means. But come on, they only have 98% accuracy. So, I take a look at the next test. Plus sign. 

I take a deep breath and look at the third. It just says, yes. 

Well, that’s it then, right? I mean, what are the chances that all three tests fall in that 2% margin of error? 

I sit down on the edge of the hotel bathtub and try to think about what Josh is going to say when I get home and tell him. I mean, he wanted kids. But he wanted them after we left the White House, and this is cutting it close. I mean, we’re talking he could be otherwise occupied on Inauguration Day, if my math is right, or this could fall in around the holidays. Plus, we’re not married yet. Thank God we’ve been engaged for a while. At least there won’t be a question of which came first, the chicken or the egg. 

There’s a pounding outside on my room door. 

“Donna! Are you all right? We’re going to be late! The motorcade is leaving in a few minutes.” comes Sam’s voice from the other side. Sam, CJ, and Toby made the trip to Helsinki for the Summit with the President and Josh stayed behind, much to his EXTREME dissatisfaction. But someone had to stay behind, and he’s the most logical choice. 

I open the door and try to paste a smile on my face. I mean, it’s hard not to be happy to see Sam, right? It takes him all of three seconds to see right through me. 

“Are you still sick?” he asks concerned coming into the room. 

“It’s just the time change, Sam.” I say. 

“It’s made you pale, sweaty, and shaky?” 

No, apparently the morning sickness has done that. I started feeling this way right before we left, and on a whim, brought the pregnancy tests with me to take here. Josh would freak out if he knew I suspected this and then hopped on Air Force One to travel to Europe. 

“Maybe it’s the flu.” I shrugged zipping up my suitcase, and Sam takes a tentative step backwards. I chuckle at his reaction. 

“Well, I’m sure the First Lady can take care of that on the plane.” Sam says, grabbing my suitcase and lap top for me. Sam’s so darn sweet, I tell you. I’m all caught up in how sweet he’s being that what he said just sinks in. I can’t let him have the First Lady look at me. She’ll figure it out in, like, five seconds. So, now the trick is avoiding the First Lady, while on Air Force One and only have so many places to hide, while working directly for the President. Hmm...talk about Mission Impossible. 

But she’ll be all over my ass and tell the President, so she can be sure I’m not overworked. I walk with Sam to the elevator as he keeps up idle chit chat about the Summit. I don’t really care about the Summit! I’m pregnant and Josh is going to implode! 

How did this happen!? I’m on the freaking pill... 

And I’m occasionally taking pain medication. And I mean really occasionally, too. I hardly ever have to take it anymore. 

Crap. Didn’t somebody tell me that it could negate a birth control pill? I can’t remember now. The pharmacist must have told me that. How could I not pay attention to that detail? I pay attention to detail. It’s my job. This is a rather large detail to overlook. 

“Donna?” Sam asks concerned as we move through the lobby and he checks my luggage, and we continue to the waiting motorcade. Something he said must have warranted a response. 

“I’m sorry, Sam. I didn’t hear you.” I confess. 

“Are you SURE you’re all right?” 

“I’m fine.” I nod. 

I must have been unconvincing because Sam sticks to me like glue on the flight home. It’s pretty easy, since he’s the Deputy Chief of Staff and was staffing the President. I laid down to try to sleep, but that didn’t work out so well because I was laying on my and Josh’s couch and it’s now occurred to me that Josh’s bright idea to join the mile high club on Air Force One may have gotten us into this predicament. And incidentally, this is where we had the kid conversation. Ironic, isn’t it? 

It occurs to me that I’ve been so wrapped up thinking about what Josh is going to think that I haven’t even addressed what I think. I stop to take an assessment of the situation. 

I’m happy. 

That makes me smile. I’m suddenly having visions of a little boy like Josh. 

And now I’m freaked out because Josh’s mother says he was a hellion when he was little. Figures. He’s a hellion now, so how could I expect anything else from his child? 

When we land, it is very early in the morning and I’m not rested at all, as he would have expected me to be. I have no problems sleeping on Air Force One and usually do on overnight trips. He is, of course, waiting for the plane on the tarmac. He’s pacing. 

Shit, Sam called him. I look over at Sam in silent accusation and he shrugs and heads off to his limo in the motorcade with CJ and Toby. 

Josh is studying me the whole walk over as the President is going on and on about...something... and the First Lady finally tells him to shut up because it’s too early in the morning and she hasn’t slept at all. That makes two of us. 

Despite what I can see as his obvious concern for me, he addresses the President first and we’re all ushered into the President and First Lady’s limo. Josh is the picture of professionalism in the car talking with the President. But he’s holding my hand tightly and throwing appraising glances in my direction, Josh didn’t become the politician he is by not being able to be engaged in one conversation while studying someone completely different, and listening with one ear to what’s going on around him. And he’s concerned. 

We pull up the White House and the President looks a me closely, but it’s the First Lady that speaks. “Coop.” she says to the secret service agent driving the limo. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“The President and I are getting out here, but Josh is going to take Donna home and then come back to the White House.” 

Josh and I immediately protest, though the fact that Josh’s is completely half-hearted isn’t lost on me. Abby waves us off. 

“Donna, you didn’t sleep on the plane and you look like death warmed over.” Abby says bluntly, never being one to mince words. “And that’s not an attractive look for anyone. It’s 4 a.m. Go home, sleep for a while, come back around 1 after lunch.” That’s a concession to me, giving me the opportunity to go home and come back. No one can really refute her when they know I can come back. 

“Go, Donna.” the President steps in. “I’ve got Debbie there waiting. We’ll bump all the stuff you and I were going to go over to this afternoon. That’s the fun part of being the Commander in Chief, people are at your beck and call.” 

“Sir, your defense briefing in the afternoon --” 

“If they’re not ready by now, they’re not going to be this afternoon.” he says dismissively. Before we can protest any further, they’re out of the car and Cooper’s driving away from the building. 

Of course, Josh immediately pounces. He turns in his seat to face me and really study my appearance. I must really look like crap because he gets that look in his eyes that he had in Germany. Instead of letting him draw me into a conversation about it in front of the secret service, I cuddle down onto his shoulder. His left hand comes up to my hair and his right arm snakes across my stomach. 

Once we’re in the house, I take my jacket off and he drops my luggage by the door. I turn to face him and he points off to the bedroom. I’ll go in a minute, but first I think I should tell him. 

“Josh, I’m pregnant.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

JOSH’S POV 

Don’t freak out. 

Don’t freak out. 

Don’t freak out. 

Resist the urge to ask how this happened. My face must ask the question anyway though because she says, 

“I guess when I take the pain medication it counteracts the birth control pill.” 

Well, what are you going to do? That seems pretty plausible. 

I sit down on the couch and look up at her. She’s obviously been worried about telling me. It’s not that we didn’t plan to have kids, but she knew I wanted to wait until next year. Which is probably why she’s freaked out about how I was going to react. 

“You look like you don’t feel good.” I say. 

“I guess it’s morning sickness.” she says. Those words hit home. I’m going to be a father. And Donna’s going to be a mother. And we created something that’s going to be a mixture of the two of us. 

Boy, I’m glad I’m sitting down right now. I suddenly feel really overwhelmed. I don’t know that I’m ready for this. I mean, in theory. I think. Yeah, I’m really overwhelmed right now. I stand back up and start pacing. When I look over at her, I stop. 

She looks like she’s going to fall over. She looks absolutely exhausted. She looks scared. She looks unsure. 

But she looks beautiful. She and I have been through so much together. And as I look at her right now, I don’t only see the other half of my soul, but also the mother of my child. 

“Josh?” she asks quietly. Her eyes are filling up with tears. “Please tell me what you’re thinking.” 

I cross over to her and hug her. “I’m not thinking anything bad.” I say softly and I can feel her relax against me. “I’m just overwhelmed by the news is all.” 

“Me too.” she confesses. 

“Let me put you to bed.” 

“That’s how we got into this mess.” she giggles into my shoulder. 

“It’s not a mess.” I reply. “It’s unexpected, but it’s not a mess.” 

I tug her along behind him and pull the covers back on the bed. She kicks her shoes off and climbs in willingly. She looks almost relieved to be home. She’s been gone for five days, and I missed her so much. It’s lonely sleeping in this bed by myself. It’s not surprising how quickly I’ve gotten used to sleeping with her. 

“When’s the baby due? Do you have any idea?” I ask as I push the hair out of her eyes. 

“Um...” she hesitates. “I’m not sure of the exact date, but I’m thinking mid-January.” 

“That’s cutting it mighty close.” I say. I mean, I could otherwise occupied on Inauguration Day now. 

“You’re the one that had to join the mile high club on Air Force One.” she smirks. 

I feel my jaw drop open. Holy shit! Can you imagine if this baby was conceived on Air Force One? How cool would that be? 

“Do you know that for sure?” 

“No.” she laughs. “Not yet anyway.” 

She snuggles further into the bed, and I lean over and place a kiss on her forehead. “Welcome home.” I say softly. “And I think once the sheer tonnage of shock wears off that I’ll be really happy.” 

“Me too.” she smiles lazily. 

“And this is probably a good moment to tell you that I love you.” 

“Probably.” 

“I do.” 

“You do what?” 

“How tired are you?” 

“Pretty damn tired.” 

“Love you.” 

“Love you, too.” 

TBC


	24. Moments

JOSH’S POV 

“Nuh-uh.” Matt says to me. 

“Yeah.” I nod. 

“Nuh-uh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“No way!” 

“Matt! Stop saying shit like that!” 

“It’s just...I mean, you’re so high maintenance. Donna’s going to have her hands full with just you alone, you’re adding YOUR baby to it?” I think I’m going to have to beat him up. I should make republican beating an Olympic sport. It’ll be like that sport curling. You don’t have to really get it, it’s just there. 

“I am not high maintenance.” I defend. What? I’m so NOT! 

“You really are. You can’t stand it when anyone but you has her attention. Her working for the President is probably making you implode.” He shoots back. 

“That’s totally not true, and absolutely unfounded.” Except it really is true. 

“Really?” he says. 

“Really.” 

“She has no future with the guy because, and I quote `I said so?`” 

Damn. He would remember something like that. 

“Well, we’re having a baby and if you insist on being an asshole, I’m not going to ask you to be the Godfather.” 

“What!?” he shrieks. Yeah, Matt shrieks. “Now, you’re just being mean.” 

“I’m totally serious.” I say. 

“A gay republican Godfather?” 

“Sure, why not?” 

“The church will fall down when I set foot in it. They don’t let you do my thing.” 

“Donna’s Protestant.” 

“Don’t they read the Bible?” 

“I have no idea; I’m Jewish.” 

“Yeah, but you guys have Godfathers.” 

I roll my eyes at him. “It’s called Sandek, and that’s not you. Toby’s all over it.” 

“Who do I get?” 

“Who do you get?” 

“Yeah, when you guys get killed by a freak accident and I’m saddled with raising this kid and making sure they have good morals and all that, who do I get to do it with me? I mean, other than Toby. He’s not my type.” 

“CJ.” 

“Not Ainsley Hayes?” Ainsley? Where the hell did that come from? Thank God Toby’s going to be the Sandek. I’m going leave my kid in the spiritual care of two republicans? 

“No, CJ.” 

“CJ’s cool; she’s taller than me though.” 

“She’s taller than everyone.” 

“So when’s the baby due?” 

“January 8th.” 

“First babies are usually late. That’s cutting it awfully close.” 

“Well, whether the democrats hold the White House or not --” 

“Which you won’t. We’ve had about enough of your shit.” 

“I won’t have much to do that day anyway.” I say ignoring his little barb. 

“And then what?” 

“Then Donna and I get married at the end of January.” 

“So you’ve having a baby out of wedlock.” He’s such a pain in my ass tonight. How did he even get in the building? 

“Barely out of wedlock, like two weeks.” 

“Conservatives are going to go nuts about that.” 

“Strangely, I no longer give a shit. Besides, Ainsley’s a conservative republican and she’s gushing all over the place about it.” 

“Well, be that as it may, I was talking about what’s next in your career?” 

Oh, that. 

“I don’t know.” I confess. “Margaret’s got a pile of job offers out there that I haven’t gotten around to looking at yet.” 

“Already?” 

“Consistently. I get job offers all the time. But yeah, they’re getting more serious.” I don’t even want to think about it. 

“Come be my chief of staff.” he says. 

“Are you kidding me?” 

“I’ll win my next election in a landslide.” 

“I’m a democrat.” 

“Well, it’s a character flaw, but I’ve overlooked it this long.” 

“I don’t want you to win.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. You love having a gay republican over there. It freaks everyone out.” 

“It is fun to watch.” I smile. “Be that as it may, I’ll torpedo your whole campaign on the first day just for sport.” 

“You said you guys hired Ainsley because the President likes smart people who disagree with him. That’s you and me.” Hmm...nice point, but....no. “We fight all the time.” 

“We’ve been fighting since we were six. I don’t need to be on your payroll to do that.” 

“Fine. Take some cushy job on some board of directors where you only have to work one day a month and get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars a year, see if I care.” 

“Josh?” Comes the President’s voice from our connecting door. Matt and I jump to our feet. 

“Do you need something, sir?” I ask. 

“Not really.” he said. 

“Um, what’s up?” I ask. 

“Congressman Skinner?” The President greets. 

“Good evening, sir.” Matt greets, shaking the President’s hand. 

“I was just seeing if Josh wanted to play some poker tonight. Care to join us?” the President asks. Dammit. 

“Democrats playing poker in the Oval Office? Is it Christmas?” Matt smiles. 

“My office.” I correct. 

“Oh.” he looks defeated. “Absolutely, sir.” 

“I’ll enjoy taking your money, Congressman.” 

“And when I run out of that we’ll bet for legislation.” Matt quips. 

“Sounds fair.” The President says. 

“Well, I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.” I say. 

“How do you know?” the President demands. 

“I’m pretty sure I remember that from Harvard and Yale.” 

“Harvard and Yale.” the President scoffs. “Where’d that get you? Notre Dame makes presidents.” Well, he’s got a point there. 

“So does Harvard.” I defend. 

“Name one.” the President challenges. 

“John F. Kennedy.” 

“What’d he ever do?” the President jokes heading back to his office. “Set it up, Josh!” 

“You really want in?” I ask Matt after the President disappears. 

“Hell yeah, I do.” Matt eagerly replies. “Call Ainsley. I’ll need back up.” 

“There’ll be food. Trust me. Ainsley will be here.” 

TBC


	25. Moments

DONNA’S POV 

“Wait a minute!” Matt shouts. “We’re allowed to beat the President?” He sounds suitably pissed off as everyone watches Toby collect the pot. 

“Well, it’s certainly frowned upon.” the President replies. 

“Of course you can beat the President.” Josh says. “Why the hell do you think we agree to play? If we were going to just let him kick our ass, we’d play chess.” 

“Excuse my French, sir.” Matt says to the President. “But this is bull shit! I could have won three hands so far tonight.” 

There’s a general chuckle from around the table and I return to my laptop. I’m not playing. I suck at poker, and Josh sucks at poker, and we need our money to send this kid to college, so only one of us should be losing tonight. 

“You’re all hazing me, aren’t you?” Matt accuses. 

“Don’t be ridiculous, why would we do that?” the President asks. 

“Because I’m a republican.” 

“Ainsley,” the President calls to Ainsley who sat out the last hand in favor of spending some quality time at the food table. “Have we ever hazed you?” 

“Sam has.” she shrugs. The President sends a disapproving look over at Sam who gets very sheepish. 

“All I did was tell her there was an all night pastry chef.” Sam defends. “And I had to do something. She was being really annoying that night.” 

“She was kicking his butt on the ERA.” I pipe in. 

“Don’t start, Donnatella.” Josh jumps in. He has since discovered that I secretly agreed with Ainsley’s points that night. Josh has many issues when my inner republican surfaces. 

“Yeah, don’t start.” CJ glares at me. I roll my eyes and return to my very important work...compiling both a baby and wedding online registry. This shit’s expensive! Thank God I’m not the one buying most of it! 

Josh begins to deal the next hand. “So, sir,” Matt begins addressing the President. “What are your plans after January? What do former President’s do?” 

“I don’t know.” the President replied. “I wonder if I’m eligible for unemployment. I know I can start collecting social security.” Matt laughs at the President’s candor. It is funny. Can you just imagine President Bartlet standing on line at the unemployment office? “Actually, I have a farm and a beautiful family. I’m sure I won’t be lacking things to do. My grandchildren have been begging their grandmother and I to put a swing set at the farm for ages. Like the horses and helipad aren’t entertaining enough.” 

“I only ask because Josh refuses to give me an answer about what he wants to do.” Matt challenges. I look up for Josh’s reaction to this. Because, you know, I’d like to know his plans myself, since he has not seen fit to actually seriously discuss it. 

“Donna and I are going to buy a house in the Adirondacks and I’m going to write a manifesto.” He says rearranging his cards. He’s such a crappier poker player than me, even I wouldn’t be caught doing that. But it seems he’s not inclined to seriously discuss it at the moment either. 

“That doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea.” Toby says quietly. “You’ll need someone to do the editing.” 

“I’m sure I could use the help.” Josh says to Toby. 

“You two wouldn’t last 15 minutes in the same house together.” the President says. He’s right, of course. Josh and Toby would kill each other pretty quickly. 

“Okay.” Sam’s joining the conversation now. “I’m going to indulge this detour to Delusionville with this, you two would absolutely never last living in the Adirondacks for many reasons, in the same house or not. A lot of areas in the northern section of the park don’t have phones, or electricity, or high-speed internet, which will make it impossible for you to watch either the Yankees or the Mets.” 

This gives Josh and Toby pause. “Well, that wouldn’t be good at all.” Josh says to Toby. 

“We’d have to write the manifesto out long hand.” Toby agrees. 

“That would definitely hurt Donna’s hand.” Josh smirks. I roll my eyes. I will not rise to the bait in this idiotic discussion. 

“The Adirondack Region includes a 6 million acre park and surrounds the western side of what lake?” The President asks. 

“Idiot boys.” CJ hisses to Josh and Toby. 

“Lake Champlain.” Matt smiles smacking a hand on the table. 

“Very good, Congressman!” The President compliments. “Now, the mountains are mostly formed of the oldest of various types of rock found on Earth. What type of rock is it?” Matt, of course, is dumbfounded, as the table’s occupants snicker. 

“Happens to all of us.” Josh says giving him a consoling pat on the shoulder. 

“Anorthosite.” I say from my position on the couch. 

“Very good, Donnatella!” the President smiles. “Always count on Donna to help you in the pinch, Congressman.” The occupants of the table are glaring at me. 

But Josh turns to look at me. “How the HELL did you know that?” 

“Oh ye of little faith.” I toss back. “Didn’t you know I’m brilliant?” 

“I did, in fact, know that.” he smiles and turns back to table. 

Brilliant...that and Washington DC, along with this lovely laptop I have here, DO have high speed internet and a quick Google search brought me to the website for the Adirondack Park. 

“We need cigars.” Matt announces trying to get the conversation away from trivia. 

“We do.” the President agrees. “I have some in my office.” 

He’s about to push away from the table when CJ shrieks. “Sir, you cannot smoke cigars in here!” 

“Sure I can.” the President says, then gestures over to Ainsley. “Ainsley there is allowed to pee in the closet.” Everyone but Sam looks confused, as Ainsley goes bright red. Wonder what THAT’S about. 

“Sir, you can’t smoke cigars in here because Donna’s in here.” CJ says pointing forcefully in my direction. 

The President looks over at me on the couch. “Oh yeah.” he says. “I think my wife might have an issue with that one.” 

Thank God! I think the smell of cigar smoke might make me puke right here. 

“Well, she really should be going home anyway, sir.” Josh pipes in. “She gets tired pretty early lately.” 

“Joshua!” I shriek. I’m going to kick his ass! Does he not see me mostly laying on this couch? My feet are elevated, I’m quite comfortable, and I’m literally within reach of the food table, which is getting considerably lighter thanks to myself and Ainsley over there. 

“Well, I’m sure we could have someone take her home.” the President says looking at his cards, taking two down and sliding them to Josh for two new ones. “Maybe a stealthy and enterprising reporter could do it.” 

Everyone looks around in confusion. What the hell is the President talking about? The light bulb seems to click on over CJ’s head first. “I’ll kill them!” she says, pushing herself up from the table. “Who is it?” 

“Oh, now, I’ll miss Danny when he’s gone.” the President says. “Come on in, Danny!” 

Danny sheepishly emerges it the doorway. “I was going to make myself known, sir. But this was a highly amusing conversation.” 

“What are you doing back here?” CJ demands. Danny looks at his watch and up to her. “Um, I fold.” CJ says quickly. Then grabs Danny by the elbow and leads him out of the room. 

“Sometimes I think those two are worse than you and Donna were, Josh.” The President sighs. And yes, everyone’s jaws drop. Sensing the silence in the room, the President looks up. “What? I don’t have eyes in my head?” 

Josh recovers first. “There’s nothing going on with them, sir.” he assures. 

“Well, I used to believe that with absolute certainty.” the President replies. “But this administration has six months left, and now I’m not so sure. Not that I mind. It has been almost eight years.” 

Josh looks thoughtfully to the empty doorway. You know, now that the President said something, that was an interesting exchange between CJ and Danny. His eyes meet mine quickly. Six months to go. I wonder if he’ll choose to care about it? 

TBC


	26. Moments

~JOSH’S POV~ 

The sound of the shower starting draws me from my pleasant sleep. My first inclination is to roll over and go back to sleep. I’m pretty tired; it won’t take long. But my second thought is what propels me out of my bed. 

Donna’s naked in the shower. 

And it’s Sunday. 

Out of bed I bound and off to the bathroom. I stop quickly to brush my teeth because I’m a considerate guy, shed my clothes in record time, and open the shower curtain. I’m no sooner across the threshold of the shower than Donna turns and starts kissing me. We don’t get a lot of us time lately and her actions here are clearly a testament to how much she misses this because I got home about four hours ago. She’ll yell at me for not going to back to sleep. 

Later. 

Right now, I don’t think she cares so much about my lack of sleep. I know I don’t. She backs against the shower wall and pulls me with her. The water is cascading between our bodies and occasionally getting right in my face, but I don’t care. 

She adjusts her stance and I can feel her protruding belly against mine. I stop kissing her and look in her eyes for a moment before dropping to my knees before her. Being intimately acquainted with her breasts, I had, of course, noticed the changes to her body a while ago, but this little bump seems to have popped overnight. Or in the last week, because it’s been that long since we’ve been together like this. 

You can see now why there was no way in hell I was going back to sleep when I heard the shower. 

Her fingers are lazily running along my shoulders as mine run along her stomach in wonder. How amazing is this, I ask you? There’s a baby in there. Granted, it’s still tiny, but it’s in there. Growing. 

Me and Donna are having a baby. 

Together. 

Wow. I am consistently amazed by the things Donna and I can do together. 

For years, my only focus has been getting this woman. Looking for any open window for us; looking for a way for us to be together without causing mayhem to some people. I knew when we got together I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but kids were, like, always a part of the bigger picture. It was easy to talk about them in the abstract. 

I thought I’d be more freaked out about becoming a father. I mean, it’s pretty easy to screw up a kid, right? But strangely, I’m not. 

This one will be born right around the time I’m going to be freed up professionally. I’ll be able to focus solely on being a father for a while, and that’s pretty amazing. I’m not too concerned about taking a few months off from working. Eights years of not having a social life gives you nothing to do but save your money. I’m sure something will come my way during those first few months. Margaret’s desk is piled high with offers. 

But I don’t want to miss the first few months of this baby’s life either. Everyone says the first six weeks suck because of all the sleep you lose. But those parents don’t have mine and Donna’s schedule. We’re used to operating on little to no sleep. 2 a.m. feedings? Bring it on. Pulled out of bed at 4 a.m. for another one? Used to that, too. 

I lean forward and place a soft kiss just above her belly button, then return to my gentle massage. “Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?” I ask. 

“Boy.” she says immediately. I think it’s freaky that she’s so confident about it. I know she hasn’t been told for sure. But she just answered so matter-of-factly. 

“Owen.” I say. 

“Owen?” she smiles brightly. “Josh, that’s adorable! Why Owen?” 

“I don’t know. It just popped in my head.” I confess. And it did. When she said boy, I thought Owen. Strange, huh? I always assumed I’d name any son of mine after my father. But evidently, this little boy’s name is going to be Owen. 

“You know, it might be a girl, too.” she chuckles. 

“It might be. But it’s not. It’s a boy.” I say just as confidently. 

“Do you want to test our confidence and not find out?” she challenges. 

“Do you really think I can go the next five months knowing I can easily know something, yet decide not to know it?” I throw back. 

“True.” she agrees. “You’d never make it.” 

She sighs as my massage moves to her hips and thighs. Gently, I drape one leg over my shoulder (the injured one, so it doesn’t pain her to put all her weight on one leg) and she gasps as I begin to kiss her. Her fingers thread into my hair and suddenly, I’m desperate to be as close to her as I can. It’s a frequent affliction with me really. I’ve never felt desperate to be with a woman before. Lusted after? Absolutely. But nearly crazed with need? Nope. Just with Donna. 

She cries out my name and the sounds echos off the shower walls. She shivers as I run my tongue up the length of her body until I end at her mouth. Keeping her leg raised, I revel in the feeling that every time I enter her, I feel the same way I did the very first time. I wonder if that feeling will ever go away. I hope not. 

I’m vaguely aware that Donna’s showering me with kisses along my neck and pretty much anywhere she can reach. There’s still moments where I just can’t believe she loves me like this; that all those years, it wasn’t just sexual tension between us. My body’s tingling and my mind is about to explode as my body’s need to release itself builds. 

She cries out and tenses around me, and it’s my turn. Normally, her name is shouted out from my lips, but this morning it comes out quietly. I’m not quite sure how we maintain our balance there like that because my legs feel like jelly. 

“Hey stranger.” she says softly as she kisses my forehead and pushes my wet hair out of her way. Her eyes widen as she feels me grow inside her, and I smirk. It really doesn’t take much when she’s involved. 

She reaches behind her and changes the shower setting to fill the tub. Hmm...a shower/bath tub morning. This is an idea I can definitely support. I move to sit down in the tub and she straddles my lap. My head falls into her chest as I’m overwhelmed by the feeling of us together. It damn near brings a tear to my eye. 

Donna, being the queen of multi-tasking, turns the jacuzzi jets on when the water level gets high enough. She loves sex in this tub, and who am I to deny her? I mean, at the moment, I’m thinking she’s pretty brilliant. 

After another round of our amazing aqua-sex, we finally get around to, you know, bathing. 

“Owen.” she sighs as my hands are washing her stomach. “I really like that.” 

“I thought of that all on my own.” I grin. 

“We have dinner plans tonight.” she says. 

“Oh yeah.” 

“Sam and Ainsley are coming over.” 

“Together?” 

“Umm...no.” 

“Do they know the other one is coming, Yenta?” 

“Yes.” 

I drop a kiss on her neck and bring our linked hands to cover her belly. It’ll be months before I can feel the baby from the outside, though Donna says she’s felt him already. We stay like that for a while, and I relax in the peacefulness that can come, just by being with her and feeling her skin against mine, and I think that life doesn’t get much better than this. 

TBC


	27. Moments

JOSH’S POV 

I enter the deserted bullpen. Everyone’s gone. They’ve all moved onto their next job or whatever else they’re going to do with their life, and my old bullpen awaits its new occupants. 

Republican occupants. 

The overwhelming urge to throw up again that I had on election night resurfaces. But it’s tamped down as I see the door to my old office, or Sam’s office, open. I quietly move to look in and find Donna. I kind of knew I’d find her here. I’ve been looking for her everywhere. 

To say she’s a basketcase today is an extreme understatement. She’s just a complete mess. She’s breaking down and sobbing over pretty much everything. The office is completely bare. We all packed up our stuff already, and the only people left in the building of the Bartlet Administration is the President and First Lady and senior staff. We’re all sort of milling about aimlessly until we absolutely have to leave. 

We’ve got 38 minutes left before we’re booted from the building. The chair is turned facing the window and I see her reflection in the glass. It’s kind of hard to miss her these days. Her due date was a week and a half ago. WAS being the operative word there. Looks like this kid takes after me in the punctuality department. “Running late” should be my middle name. 

I sit down on the computer desk and push the chair around with my foot. Of course, she’s crying. 

“I used to watch for you out this window.” She whispers turning her head to look back out it. 

“I thought you were kidding around when you said that.” 

“Well, I didn’t sit here the ENTIRE time you were gone.” she says rolling her eyes. “Just from about the time you were supposed to come back. It’s how I knew when to be in the lobby.” 

“That’s adorable.” I smile. 

“That’s efficiency.” she shoots back. Did I mention she’s also moody today? 

Placation, thy name is Joshua. 

“That’s not the only efficient thing you ever did.” I said as I grab her hands and help heave her out of the chair. Normally, I make fun of her size at this point, but I’m wisely keeping my mouth shut today. 

“Index cards were the most efficient.” she grins. 

“If you say so.” I shrug and she smacks me playfully on the shoulder. I’ll admit this to you. There were times when, quite frankly, I had no idea what I’d have done without those index cards. “Any regrets?” I ask taking a look around the office. 

“We never had sex in here.” she grins. 

“Well, yes, that certainly is regrettable.” I chuckle. “But on the other hand,” I continue moving my hands gently to her very large belly. “There was Air Force One.” 

“There was Air Force One.” she agrees. She adjusts her position so she can lay her head on my shoulder, no easy feat for her, I assure you, and my arms come tight around her. 

“What are we going to DO tomorrow?” I ask quietly. I mean, we have no plans. I’m sticking to my staying home for a few months after the baby is born. Standing here now with no plans for tomorrow is freaking me out a bit. 

“Are you kidding me?” she fires back immediately. “We have to call the caterer about the menu; you have to get your ass to the tuxedo shop to pick out something for you and the groomsmen to wear already, Joshua; I have to talk to the musicians because their play list for the reception is ridiculous, I’ll be damned if the former President of the United States is doing the chicken dance, plus, this kid needs a bed, Joshua, you have put that crib together...” 

Oh crap. Now look what I’ve done. She’s going to have a meltdown in a minute. 

“All right, all right.” I shush pulling her tighter. When she calms down I gently lead her out the door and CJ, Sam, and Toby are walking towards us, carrying champagne and glasses. They stop before us smiling and pouring as the President and First Lady enter through the bullpen doors. 

Once everyone has a glass, we all hold them up. “To President Bartlet.” Sam says with a small bow. 

“To the best team any President has ever had.” the President returns. We all clink our glasses and Donna pours hers into mine and I drain the glass. Wow. That’s good champagne. Somebody didn’t scrimp on this bottle. 

“So, what’s everyone doing with the rest of the day?” the First Lady asks, and Donna immediately starts bawling again. 

“Oh, Donna.” the President sighs. “Not again.” 

“I’m sorry, sir.” she sobs into my shirt. I rub her back and turn to CJ. 

“When are you and Danny heading back to California?” I ask. 

“I don’t know.” she shrugs. “Couple of weeks. We have to pack up our apartments, ship the stuff. I’m in no great hurry.” she turns to Toby. “When do you start at Georgetown?” 

“Monday.” he replies rocking on his heels and there’s a general round of chuckling in the group. I’m surprised, quite frankly, he didn’t say tomorrow. He’ll probably drive Andie and the kids crazy the next couple of days. 

“Sam?” the President asks. “Back to California?” 

“Um...no.” Sam says hesitantly, and Donna and I smile. “I’m sticking around to head up the DNC’s legal team.” 

“And what does your girlfriend think of that?” I smirk knowingly. 

“Well, as the White House Counsel for the incoming republican administration, my girlfriend has ten different kinds of problems with that. But, whatever.” he shrugs, but there’s a spark to his eyes that makes me think he took the job for precisely that reason. 

All eyes turn to me and Donna. “Don’t ask me.” I say quickly pointing to Donna. “She’s in charge.” 

“Eight years, and nothing’s changed.” Toby says. 

We turn to make our way out of the bullpen, but Donna’s quick hiss stops us all. She’s got one hand on her stomach and one on her back. I’m immediately by her side taking her hand. “Are you all right?” I demand quickly. The First Lady grins. 

“Yeah.” she nods with a wince. “It’s just my back as been bothering me all day.” She hisses again and presses her hand into her back. 

“Donnatella Moss, you’ve been in labor all day.” the First Lady accuses and moves to Donna. She puts one hand on Donna’s stomach, then looks at my fiancé. “You’re having contractions.” 

“You’re having contractions and you didn’t say anything!” I shout out. What the hell!? She didn’t think to share this information? 

“I thought it was just my achy back.” she shoots back. “I’ve never had a baby before, Joshua, I don’t know what the hell it’s supposed to feel like. And, of course, since it’s YOUR baby it doesn’t let me know the normal way.” 

 

Well, the insulting the baby’s father portion of the labor has started. So much for thinking Donna wouldn’t be one of those women. 

Sam lets out a surprised laugh and CJ’s eyes pop out of her head before she, too, smiles and laughs. “We have all day to wait for this baby.” she squeals gleefully, with a clap of her hands. I think Donna’s going to punch her. 

“Nobody’s waiting for this baby in my presence.” she snaps. Nobody seems offended. I move to Donna’s side and drape her arm around my shoulders and snake my arm around her waist, helping her support herself and the First Lady moves to the other side and does the same thing. 

“Oh, no, no, ma’am.” Donna says shaking her head. “You shouldn’t be doing this.” 

“Oh, Donna, take your protocol and shove it, I’m not the First Lady anymore.” Abbey shoots back and Donna looks duly surprised. “And it’s Doctor Ma’am to you.” Everyone tries to hide their amusement in the face of the emotional pregnant woman in labor, but that really was classic Abbey. 

“Looks like we’re all off to GW!” The President says clapping his hands and rubbing them together. 

“Sir, the President of the United States CANNOT pace the maternity ward of GW!” Donna protests, though I can see in her eyes, she’s glad to hear they’re planning on sticking close by. Donna and the President have gotten much closer in the last year and a half, and he’s become a second father to her. And since the earliest she’ll see her real father is at least tomorrow, I think she’s comforted by that statement. 

“Well, that WOULD be strange, considering the fact that you haven’t met President Vinick recently.” the former President replies and it sinks in just a little further that the man before us is no longer the sitting President. “However, all I was doing was hitching a ride back to New Hampshire. I’m sure the new President won’t need Air Force One on his first or second day in office, and I can afford to hang around a little longer. Of course, that means we’ll have to stay in the guest house with it’s meager 100 rooms, but whatever.” 

His plan works and Donna’s laughing, a sound I’m not sure I’ll be hearing much of in the next 24 hours. Everyone forms a circle around us and we make our way through the bullpen doors. I throw a glance over my shoulder, just in time to see them swing shut behind us, closing the doors on the past. 

Donna stops abruptly and screeches as another labor pain rips through her. “YOU did this to me!” she shouts at me. I swear to God I think her eyes are red and smoke is coming out of her ears. If her head starts spinning, she just might have to go it alone. 

“Hmmm...I think we’ll be seeing this little boy sooner rather than later.” Dr. Ma’am muses. 

“We SHOULD have seen him two weeks ago.” Donna bites out again at me with a glare. 

Please God, PLEASE make this a fast labor! Please get Donna out of this pain, and have her, you know, stop yelling at me. 

We start walking again and get all the way outside when the next contraction makes her double over. I’m immediately at her side rubbing her back and pushing the hair out of her face. The secret service has caught on to what’s going on and the President and Mrs. Bartlet’s apparent plan and Ron Butterfield motions for a car. 

She looks at me through her tears and I can tell she’s scared. The last time she looked at me like this, she was laying on an operating table in Germany. 

I suddenly want to throw up again. 

“Hey,” I say softly, kissing her forehead and offering what I hope is an encouraging smile. “I’m right here. I’ll do whatever you want me to do.” She nods her head and straightens back up. We get into the car with the President and First Lady and I see CJ, Sam, and Toby head off for the parking lot. 

Donna falls into my chest with the next labor pain and I continue to whisper in her ear as we leave the White House behind and head off for the short drive to GW, where the future is waiting, quite impatiently it seems, to introduce himself to us. 

THE END.


End file.
